Vision
by montez
Summary: Ridley's Brotherhood used. Visions can be a blessing, when you can stop them, or a curse when you can't.
1. Chapter 1

Vision  
Chapter 1  
Disclaimer: Again borrowing the wonderful characters created by Eric Kirpke from the original Supernatural series and also using the wonderful characters created in the Brotherhood AU by Ridley.

_A/N: I wanted to take a moment and let you know I am going to be borrowing a few 'memories' from other authors. Williamson Scott, Sensue, Ridley, and Tidia to name a few, you will recognize your works. There are many exceptional stories inside the Brotherhood AU and many have stuck with me and I hope if I am 'borrowing' parts of your stories that you don't mind and know that your writings have had that great of an impact on me, thus helping me to add background to my story. I appreciate all the support I have gotten on previous stories; you have no idea what it means when so many enjoy what I write. I want to THANK everyone in advance for your time and support. This is still a work in progress and I plan on taking my time to get it right, so please be patient, I hope to update regularly.--Montez_

_A/N Part 2: Okay I think I've got my mind back in the game with this story, thanks to those who have stuck it out with me. I've revised (slightly) chapters 1 and 2, I think I have them how I want them and I have finally been able to pick-up from the spot I got stuck on-it is still a work in progress along with my other story 'It only takes a second', I'm trying to write them in tandem(what am I thinking?) I hope to post every few days with this one, but it is finally back on track. Again thanks for your patients and encouragement. So here we go!--Montez_

His first vision was when he was ten, but he didn't know that was what the horrible dream was, even after his grandmother died a few days later, just like she had in his dream. At twelve he thought he was going crazy when he 'witnessed' the murder-suicide of his foster parents of only two day. But it was that tragic event that had led Dr. Mackland Ames and Pastor Jim Murphy to the Psychiatric Hospital a family court judge had sent him to, mistakenly thinking the pre-teen was having a mental break. It was after a doctor at said hospital had drugged him to a near comatose state that Dr. Ames stepped in; first taking over the medical care of the young boy, then soon taking the child into his home as a foster child, then as his adopted son.

Mac was the one who helped explain to Caleb that what he was experiencing were 'visions' of possible future events. The Doctor explained that sometimes they were events that could be avoided by the intervention of others, but sometimes, unfortunately they were to play out in the all there horrific glory, only allowing Caleb to be a spectator in what was happening, having no power to stop it.

Breathing heavily, trying to fight the nausea he felt rising as he remained face down in the carpet of his dorm room at Auburn, Caleb was praying this was one vision he could stop. It had been a while since a vision had struck him and it had never happened since he had left New York for college in Alabama. But as he barely heard a key turning in the door to the room he shared with Oliver 'Moose' Havers, a player for the Auburn football team, Caleb tried to push his shaking self up, his head spinning and pounding all at the same time. He failed miserable as his friend rushed forward, catching him before he took a header into the wall near the beds.

"Whoa man…" Moose had walked into the room, getting back from a date with his latest girlfriend, just in time to catch the rapid decent of his roommate. Easing Caleb into a sitting position against the wall, he tried to get the smaller man to look at him. "Caleb, man, look at me. You okay?"

Caleb could feel someone grab him as he got to his feet, then feeling himself fall again. Next thing he realized was the large football player kneeling in front of him; Caleb could see his mouth moving, but didn't understand what he was saying. Bring his hands to cover his eyes the psychic couldn't remember a vision ever having this strong of an effect on him. "CALEB!" He felt Moose shake him slightly as sound was finally starting to return, along with it the echo of the gunshot and the blossoming of blood that showed on the shirt of the victim from his vision. Fighting against Moose, Caleb tried to crawl his way to the phone, on the table near his bed.

Moose again tired to get his friend to respond and even thought about calling an ambulance, not sure if his friend had taken something or been slipped something, since the worst he had ever seen Caleb do was Tequila. Finally Moose could make out the mumbled words coming from Caleb, "Phone…the phone…" Moose backed up a little as Caleb pushed past him, crawling to the bedside table, just as the phone started to ring.

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"Come on, that's enough for tonight." John could feel the man pulling at his arm; literally dragging him from the bar he had made his home for the last few hours. The boys were safe at Jim's farm in New Haven and John needed to get away, Mary's birthday as been two days ago and at the time he had been knee deep in a hunt, literally, in the swamps of Florida and honestly at this point he couldn't remember what he had been hunting, only that he needed to get it done and get to Kentucky.

He had never missed one of his beloved wife's birthdays since that first year. Fortunately he had met Pastor Jim a few months before and had a safe place to drop his then five-year old and one-year old off, as he went on a three day bender that landed him in jail for two days until Jim was finally able to locate him. It was after that Jim made John swear that he would bring the boys to the farm if the grieving widower felt the need to 'drown his sorrows' again, and every year since John had shown up at Jim's with the boys and every year since Jim had John shadowed the whole time he was gone, not wanting the younger man jailed again, or worse, if his temper got the best of him.

"Damnit, get off me…" John slurred slightly as he attempted to fight the stronger grip of the man pulling him across the parking lot. "I wasn't done yet…"

"Thank God it's only once a year you get wasted or you wouldn't be of any use to anyone, especially your boys." the muffled voice spoke with the calmness that betrayed what it's owner really wanted to do and that was to beat some sense into John Winchester. Mac could understand the younger man's grief, but not how wasting three days of your life at the bottom of a bottle when you had two children worrying about you made any sense.

John's finger headed toward the other man's face, "Don't you tell me what to do…with my boys…you don't know what I've been through…" John was getting angry, deep down he knew it wasn't at his friend or even the fact that Mac had stopped him from making a foolish bet at the pool table. John was angry at the thing that had taken his wife all those years ago, robbing them both of the numerous birthdays, anniversaries and holidays that were stolen that night in November.

"They won't be your boys for long if you drink yourself into the grave, or get yourself killed making a foolish bet you can't cover." The seriousness some how filtered through the semi-drunken haze that encircled John Winchester as he was leaned up against the passenger side of the Impala.

However, it was a shout from the direction of the bar that drew both men's attention from their attempt to get into the car. "WHERE THE HELL YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING! THAT SON OF A BITCH OWES ME A THOUSAND BUCKS!"

Mac responded as John seemed to be finally understanding that someone had followed them out, "The game was never finished, my friend was is in no shape to have been making that bet, you still have your money, so why don't we just forget about it and call it a night gentlemen." the first man had been followed by several of his buddies from inside the bar.

"Nawh, I think I want the thousand I would have won if we had finished before you so rudely interrupted our game." The pool player looked at his friends grinning, as he mocked Mac's attempt at politeness, they all laughed and nodded in agreement.

The situation was quickly spiraling out of control as John finally understood that there were way more potential threats then he or Mac were ready to handle. "Maybe another night." John heard his friend respond as he turned to open the car door.

The next thing happened so fast that John would later have no idea exactly how it went down, but he could recall the man from the bar shouting again, with a threatening tone, John looked up just as Mac turned in response only for the loud echo of a gunshot to ring out over the parking lot. John stood wide-eyed a moment before pulling the weapon that was always at his back, when the men from the bar saw that they scattered. Within moments John and Mac were standing alone in the parking lot, the echo fading quickly.

John wasn't sure if it was the sound of the shot or the shocked expression on Mac's face that sobered him up, but he would always remember watching the dark crimson spot that was slowly spreading across the chest of Mac's blue polo shirt. "MAC?" John stepped up in front of his friend as their eye's locked and Mac's knees gave out, John just barely able to catch him, "SOMEBODY HELP!!!!I NEED SOME HELP OUT HERE!!!"

John's attention turned back to his friend as he heard people coming from the bar, alerted by the gunshot and John's yelling. "Mac?" the Doctor's eyes were looking at John, seemingly unsure of what just happened.

"John? What happened?" Mac whispered as he coughed a little, blood bubbling up in his throat, spewing onto John's jacket as he coughed again.

John eased Mac down, pulling at the doctor's shirt as someone handed him, what he assumed was a towel from the bar, "Ambulance is on the way", John heard a voice say as he kept eye contact with Mac.

"Just take it easy Mac, helps coming…" He pressed the towel onto the wound, causing Mac to inhale sharply which set off a new round of coughing from the hunter.

"Hurts…" Mac whispered.

"I know Buddy, just hang on helps coming." John tried to reassure, but wasn't liking the labored sound of Mac's breathing.

Suddenly Mac's eyes got wide and he started looking around frantically, "Where's Caleb? Is he okay?"

John could see the pleading in friend's eyes, fearful for his son, "Mac, Caleb's in Alabama at school, remember, he's okay."

The older man's eyes drooped at the reassurance that his son was safe, "Take care of him…watch out for him." Mac whispered weakly, coughing as he tried to drag in another breath.

The sound of the ambulance could finally be heard approaching, "You're gonna take care of him Mac, he needs his dad, so you hold on you hear me?" John could feel fear flair inside as he watched Mac blink slowly, then watched as the older man's eyes slid shut just at the ambulance reached the parking lot.

"MAC!" John shouted, shaking his friend, "MAC!"


	2. Chapter 2

Vision  
Chapter 2  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

"Dad?" Caleb grabbed the ringing phone as Moose tried to help him up onto the bed, his legs still feeling weak from exhaustion that came with the vision.

"Caleb?" It was Jim's calm voice that the young psychic heard, but it did nothing to ease the knot that was currently twisting his stomach.

Caleb felt his mouth go dry and his world spin again at the implication of why Jim would be calling him in the middle of the night, "Where is he?"

"How?" Jim sounded a little stunned.

"Damn it Jim, you know how, where the hell is Mac?" Caleb could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins, giving him a burst of energy as he straightened himself. Moose watching his friend closely at the sudden change in his demeanor and his asking about his dad.

"He's at University in Louisville, Jonathon's with him…" Jim was cut off by the younger man.

"What the hell happened?" Caleb stood ready to start grabbing his stuff and head toward Kentucky. Caleb knew what happened, had watched it happen, what he wanted were details.

"All Jonathon could tell me was that your father was shot and that he's in surgery now." Jim continued to speak calmly, but Caleb could pick up on the man's worried emotion.

"I'm leaving now, you have the number to the phone Mac had installed in my Jeep, you keep me updated." Caleb barely noticed the surprised look on his roommates face at the sound of him saying he was leaving.

"I will Son; I'm heading to Louisville now. Please Caleb, be careful." Without a response Caleb hung up and started grabbing his things.

Moose watched his friend, who he had just found a few minutes before, almost incoherent, now gathering his things, telling who ever it was on the phone that he was leaving. "Whoa, dude, I just found you out of it and now you think you should be driving somewhere?" Moose made the mistake of stepping in front of Caleb, when he felt the smaller man give him a rough shove.

"Get the hell out of my Moose; I've got to go, NOW!" Caleb sat to put his boots on.

The football player crossed his arms, glaring at his friend, "What's going on? Where are you going?"

"Louisville," Caleb stood, grabbing his jacket and duffle, "my Dad's been shot." With that Caleb left Moose watching the door slam shut with a shocked expression on his face.

Racing toward the parking lot Caleb threw his things in the back of his Jeep and jumped in, slamming the door. As he turned over the engine what Jim said and what he had witnessed in his vision suddenly hit him full force, he was barely able to get the door open fast enough as he emptied the contents of his stomach all over the concrete next to his vehicle.

That's where Moose found him, a death grip on the door so he wouldn't fall into his own vomit. "Come on man, other side, I'll drive." Getting a shaking Caleb settled into the passenger side of the Jeep, Moose stepped over last night's dinner, backing the vehicle from its spot, then he headed toward the interstate, to get his friend to Louisville.

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Jim had no choice but to bring twelve-year old Dean and eight-year old Sammy with him on the drive to Louisville. Both boys had been woken by the Pastor's phone ringing in the night, each knowing that good news rarely came from late night phone calls. Dean, with Sammy at his side had watched as Jim paled at what he was told by the caller, the older man sitting heavily on the side of his bed, where he had been when the call came.

The Preacher had told them that Mac was hurt and that they had to get dressed because they needed to get to Louisville. Dean lingered outside Jim's door as he listened to the older man call Caleb, Dean's chest clinched as he heard Jim tell Caleb that Mac had been shot. That was his best friends worst fear, losing another person he cared about, he loved. Now they were pulling into the parking garage of University, praying Mac was okay.

Jim and the boys entered the emergency room, the older man approaching the desk, "Mackland Ames, he was brought in a while ago, can you tell me where he is? Is he still in surgery?"

The Pastor and nurse were both startled by Sammy's yelling, "DAD!" as the smaller boy slipped from Dean's hold, racing toward his father who was standing near the elevators, talking to a policeman.

Kneeling John pulled his son into a hug as he watched his oldest give him a critical look, Jim following the boys rather than waiting for the nurse. "Jonathon?"

The officer looked at the new arrivals, then turned back to John. "If I have any other questions will I be able to find you here?"

John nodded as he stood, "I'm not going anywhere." with that the officer excused himself leaving the younger man to face his family.

Hitting the button for the lift, rougher than intended, John wouldn't meet Jim's gaze. Once the four entered the car and the doors closed Jim broke the tense silence. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Running his hand over his stubbled face, Jim could tell the young hunter was feeling the effects of not only the hangover, but the fallout of what had happened to Mac. Blowing out a deep breath he started, "I was drinking and trying to hustle at the same time, Mac found me and drug me out of the bar before the game was finished, the guy I was playing wasn't too happy." Anger flashed in John's face as he turned to look at Jim, seeming to forget his son's were in the elevator with them. "By the way, how the hell did Mac know where I was anyway?"

Jim didn't flinch under the scrutiny, "I had him follow you, just like I have done for the last seven years. I can't have you locked up or worse yet, dead because you feel it necessary to drink yourself blind every year." Jim's voice had remained calm, but inside he was seething, he knew what it was like to love someone so much that you wanted to die, just to be with them. But year after year it was Jim that watched the effect on the Winchester children at their father's selfishness.

John moved faster than Jim would have given him credit for as the Pastor found himself pinned against the wall of the elevator, "Who the hell do you think you are trying to tell me what to do?" John spit out.

Without a note of fear in his voice Jim held his composure. "**I'm** the one who has to explain to **your** **children** every year why their father disappears for days at a time and they know you're not on a hunt."

Dean had watched the situation inside the lift escalate, culminating with his father shoving the Pastor against the wall. Making sure Sammy was out of the way, the twelve-year old attempted to step between his father and the man he saw as an Uncle. "DAD!" Dean grabbed his father's arm, trying to get him to release Jim, "That's enough, let him go!"

It was the older boy's voice that broke through the rage John was feeling, not only toward the Preacher for throwing what he chose to do back in his face, but the anger at himself for Mac getting hurt because of it. Dean felt his father release Jim and watched at he stepped back, running his hand over his face. Jim straightening himself, placing a supportive hand on Dean's shoulder, at that moment the elevator doors opened onto the sixth floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Vision  
Chapter 3  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

A/N: language warning for this chapter.

"We've just crossed into Kentucky. How's he doing?" Moose listened as Caleb talked on the phone that had been installed in his Jeep a few month ago. It was the latest in technology and Caleb always seemed to have the latest gadget, courtesy of the Ames fortune he was heir to. "How is he still in surgery, Damn it Jim how bad is it?" Moose glanced over, seeing his friend rubbing his eyes; fear and exhaustion clear on his face.

"I know, just call me when you do hear something, I'll be there as soon as I can." Hanging up the phone Caleb ran both hands over his face and through his disheveled black hair.

"How's your dad?" Moose kept his eyes on the road as he waited for an answer.

"Still in surgery, they haven't told them anything yet." Caleb held his head a minute, "I can't do this again." He whispered quietly, Moose barely hearing the words.

"Do what?" Though they had been roommates for two years, Moose didn't know a lot about Caleb's family, having only met the famous Dr. Mackland Ames a couple times when the older man would visit Caleb. It had shocked the football player the first time he had met Caleb's dad, knowing the cocky, smartass he was rooming with, he was surprised at how polar opposite the good Doctor was from his son, but Moose could tell that the two were a close family and cared a great deal about one another.

Moose was shocked to see Caleb's eyes fill with tears that he was trying hard to hide. "I can't lose another person I care about." At the confused expression on his friends face, Caleb felt compelled to continue and tell a stranger about his loses. "My parents died when I was six, murder-suicide, my grandmother when I was ten. Then the last set of foster parents I was placed with, just like my parents." feeling lost and vulnerable like he hadn't since he was twelve-years old in the hospital before Mac found him, Caleb looked at his friend, who had dropped everything and was now driving him to Louisville, a pleading in his voice, "Why does death follow me?"

Moose knew this was way out of his league; the man beside him in the passenger seat seemed to be a shadow of the man he had grown accustomed to over the last two years as roommates. Silence filled the Jeep as the football player knew there was nothing he could do or say to help his friend find an answer to that question. He just hoped he could get Caleb to Louisville and that his father would be okay.

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Dean was sitting on the uncomfortable couch in the surgical waiting room with his little brother curled up asleep beside him. The older boy watched as his father alternated between sitting with his head held in his hands to a near frantic pacing that the man was now doing. Jim sat in a chair across from the pre-teen; Dean could tell the man was praying as he could just barely see the older man's lips moving.

A couple hours ago Jim had called Caleb to let him know they hadn't heard anything about Mac and since they had first arrived on the floor Jim and John hadn't said much to one another. Jim allowing the hunter to calm down and start to accept the situation they now found themselves in. The Pastor was trying hard not to blame John for what happened, after all he was in the business of forgiveness, but it was the Knight's need to drown himself in his sorrow that had ultimately led to one of the things that Jim worried about the most, only he never dreamed it would be Mac who'd be fighting for his life, Mac was suppose to be there to keep John safe.

Dean's mind was currently on his best friend who was on his way to the hospital. Dean knew that losing someone close to him was Caleb's biggest fear; it was something the two friends had in common. The silence was broken by the hydraulic noise of the automatic doors opening at the entrance to the hallway leading to the surgical area. Since the small group was the only ones in the waiting area at this time of night the doctor approached them, "Are you here for Dr. Ames?"

Jim stood as John came up next to him; Jim extended his hand, "I'm Pastor Jim Murphy, this is John Winchester. Mackland's son is on his way, please how is Mackland doing?"

"I'm Dr. Wittmer; Dr. Ames made it through surgery. I can't say it was without incident, his blood pressure dropped dangerously low at one point due to blood loss. We were able to remove the bullet, but the damage was a little worse than we expected. When the bullet entered his chest cavity it ricocheted off the rib cage and nicked an artery, causing a slow bleed that was filling his chest, we suctioned all that out and repaired it, but it also collapsed his left lung. The bullet passed through his lung and lodged itself into the rib cage, just under his arm." The doctor raised his own arm showing the two men before him.

John's voice was the next on heard, "He's going to be okay right?"

Fear settled over the two hunters as they watched the doctor's expression become somber, "Dr. Ames is currently on a ventilator to help his lung heal and we are trying to maintain his blood pressure, but understand he lost a lot of blood. It wasn't just what was visible on the outside, but what accumulated inside his chest. I always try to be optimistic but the next 24 to 36 hours are going to be critical. We are watching close for any complications such as infection or the possibility of a bleeder we could have missed, as I said there is evidence that the bullet bounced around inside his chest. To be completely honest, right now I can only give a 50/50 chance, that's if no complications arise."

"You're saying there is a fifty percent chance my Dad's gonna die?" It was the hollow voice of Caleb Reaves that caused John and Jim to turn; they had not heard the younger man approach. Jim felt his own chest constrict at the pale site of the young man, who had a larger boy standing behind him.

"Are you Dr. Ames son?" Dr. Wittmer took a step toward the younger man.

"I'm Caleb Reaves; please tell me I heard you wrong and that my Dad is going to be fine?" Caleb watched the doctor approach him, taking no notice of Jim or John at the moment; he did sense Moose take a step closer.

"As I explained to Pastor Murphy and Mr. Winchester, the bullet did more damage than we first thought. We repaired what we could and your father is currently on a ventilator to help his lung heal, but as of right now, I'm sorry, but 50/50 is the best I can give you." Dr. Wittmer watched the young man before him, seeing the pain wash over his face. "Your father will be in recovery about an hour, then moved to ICU where you will be able to visit with him for about 10 to 15 minutes each hour. I'll send a nurse out to get you when you can come back." Caleb didn't trust his voice at the moment just giving the doctor a nod as the man turned and headed back toward the hallway that Caleb knew his father was down.

The four men stood in silence a moment, Dean and Sammy watching them from the couch. Moose moved up and placed a hand on his friends shoulder. He then watched as the two men the doctor was talking to approach Caleb.

"Junior, I'm so…" That was as far as John got before younger hunter hit him with a right hook, causing the older man to stumble back into the wall, where he found himself pinned by a very pissed Caleb.

"You son of a bitch, how could you?!" Caleb growled out in John's face, the older man making no effort to defend himself.

It took Moose and Jim both a second to comprehend what they saw as Moose moved quickly to grab his friend off the man he currently had shoved against the wall, "Hey man…" Moose grabbed Caleb from behind, looping an arm over one of the arms the smaller man was using to hold John in place. To the football players surprise he wasn't able to move Caleb as adrenaline was fueling his rage.

It was the silver haired man that stepped up, trying to pry Caleb's hands from John's shirt, which finally broke through the rage in the younger man's eyes, "This isn't helping your father Caleb, let Jonathon go. Now Caleb!"

It was Jim's stern voice that filtered through, along with the unwelcome feel of being restrained that snapped Caleb's thoughts into focus. Giving his mentor a rough shove Caleb allowed Moose to pull him back a few steps before twisting himself from his friends grip, walking a few feet down the hall, away from John. Running his hand over his face the younger man turned, keeping a safe distance, because he didn't think he could control himself if he got closer, "What the fuck were you doing that got my Dad shot you bastard? What did you start that someone else had to finish for you because you were drunk?"

At the shocked expression on John's face, Caleb took a threatening step forward, but Moose blocked his way, still not sure who all the players were, but he felt he needed to watch out for his friend so his anger and fear didn't make him do something stupid. Caleb growled through his teeth, pointing toward his own head, "I fucking saw it happen Johnny, in full blown Technicolor. I swear if Dad doesn't pull through this, I'll kill you myself!" Caleb turned and stormed down the hallway, Moose looked at the shocked men watching the younger man's retreat, he then turned and took off after his roommate.


	4. Chapter 4

Vision  
Chapter 4  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

"What have I done?" John whispered as he watched Caleb storm away from him, followed by a stranger.

"He's hurting Jonathon, he's scared and he's hurting, we both know those are two emotions that he's never handled well, and Mackland is usually the only one who could calm him when he's like this." Jim turned from staring after the young hunter, to look at the older one. "He needs time to process what's happening."

John looked at Jim, defeat in his expression, "He's right, it's my fault Mac's fighting for his life right now, it should have been me." Without waiting for a response from Jim, John turned and headed toward the elevators.

Jim watched him go, he then turned and looked in the direction Caleb had disappeared, running an exhausted hand over his face, he walked over and sat on the couch beside Dean and Sammy. "Is Caleb going to kill Dad?" Sammy's voice asked quietly. He couldn't ever remember seeing Caleb as angry as he had been when he hit John.

Jim pulled the smaller boy to him, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder as the twelve-year old looked between the two directions his family had gone. "No Sammy, Caleb's just upset and scared. He's not thinking clearly, he will calm down soon."

Dean remained silent; he could understand some of Caleb's anger, hell he was pissed at his father as well. He had been mad at him long before Mac got hurt. Over the last few years Dean had come to realize why his father ditched them every year and it made him angry because he missed his mother too. He wanted his father to stay with them, to help not only him remember his mother, but for Sammy to know about her as well, but John would be selfish and disappear for days.

"I'm going for a walk." Dean said as he stood, "Sammy you stay here with Pastor Jim." Dean was torn between who he should search out, his father or his best friend. However in the child's eyes it was his friend who needed the most help right now. His father had chosen to do what he did and that choice got someone else hurt and that in turn hurt Caleb and Dean hated to see anyone he cared about hurting.

The Pastor and Sammy watched at Dean headed in the direction that Caleb had went.

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Moose followed his roommate to the men's room and was now watching as the smaller man was pacing the room like a caged animal. The football player could see that Caleb was trying to get his emotions under control, he had been shocked at how fast and almost lethal Caleb's reaction had been toward one of the two men that were talking with the doctor when they had first walked up. Moose had never seen his friend angry, if anything Caleb always seemed to be smiling or joking around, but the intense anger he saw take control of his friend made Moose hope he was never on the receiving end of that rage.

"Who were those men?" Moose felt he needed to know who these men were if he was going to keep an eye on Caleb.

Caleb slowed his pacing, taking deep breaths to try and compose himself. "Johnny…John Winchester, he's a family…" the word friend stuck in Caleb's throat, what kind of friend get's someone he sees as a brother shot. "The other one, that was Pastor Jim Murphy." Caleb really couldn't elaborate more, not really sure how, he had never explained to an outsider about the complex network of people that made up his family.

Moose watched as Caleb finally stopped pacing, "Who were the kids?" the player remembered seeing two kids sitting on a couch off to the side, watching what was going on.

Caleb turned, a look of confusion on his face, "Kids?" the psychic's face paled as he realize who Moose was talking about, "Son of a… God I didn't even see them." Caleb felt his breath hitch as it hit him that the boys had witnessed his attack on John, had heard his threat; he had never lost his temper like that in front of them. "Sammy and Deuce, they saw everything, didn't they?"

"Yeah we did." Dean's voice broke the silence; he had slipped into the bathroom undetected.

Caleb turned quickly, seeing the worried face of his best friend. "Deuce?" In two strides the older hunter was kneeling in front of the pre-teen, he placed his hands on the boy's upper arms, "God Deuce, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking…I'm just worried about Mac and after watching it happen…I just…" Caleb really didn't know what to say.

"Look, I know you're pissed at Dad and I know you're scared, but you have to believe Mac's gonna be okay. What do doctors know anyway, right?" Dean was trying hard to comfort his friend. The smaller boy looked over Caleb's shoulder, eyeing Moose, "Who's the Incredible Hulk over there?"

Moose barked out a laugh, breaking some of the tension in the room, "Related aren't you?" The player stepped up next to Caleb as he stood, "I'm Oliver Havers, but you can call me Moose."

"I'm Dean." The smaller boy watched as Moose looked at Caleb.

"Why do you call him Deuce?" The bigger man asked.

Caleb rubbed his hand over Dean's head, "He's the wild card in the family." Caleb looked at Dean, a look of thanks on his face as he knew his friend was trying to help.

"I need to get back, I need to see Dad." Caleb's tone sobered as he pushed Dean toward the door, Moose following them out.

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It had been almost two hours since Caleb had returned to the waiting room. Dean retaking his spot next to his brother and Pastor Jim, while Moose sat next to the psychic. John had returned to the waiting room as well, but had chosen to sit apart from the group, not really sure how Caleb would react around him.

After the first hour, when Caleb had thought he would get to see his father the younger man started pacing, worry and fear rising with each passing minute. Finally a dark-haired nurse came out to the waiting room, "Someone may come back and visit Dr. Ames for a few minutes." Caleb was at her side before she finished talking.

"I'm his son." Caleb glanced at Jim who gave his an encouraging nod. He then looked over toward where John was sitting, the older man not meeting his gaze. Turning back to the nurse he spoke quietly, "I need to see my dad." With the practiced smile she gave all families of patients, the nurse turned and led Caleb toward the ICU.

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Moose was left in the waiting room with strangers, only having talked for just a second to the young boy who was now watching him from the couch; the football player didn't know how to start a conversation. Fortunately he was saved from the awkward feeling as Pastor Jim leaned forward, extending his hand. "I'm Pastor Jim Murphy; I'm a close friend of Caleb's and his father."

Accepting the older man's hand, Moose was immediately put at ease by the Pastor's calming voice and caring eyes. "I'm Moose…sorry, I'm Oliver Havers, I'm Caleb's roommate at school."

"Let me guess, football player?" the older man smiled.

Moose chuckled, "How could you tell?"

"Thank you for coming with Caleb, I was worried when I first spoke with him, I didn't think he would be able to make the drive, but I know how stubborn he can be, especially when it involves those he cares about." Jim sat back.

"Yeah," Moose answered, a feeling came over him, that he should tell the man before him how he had returned to their shared dorm room and found Caleb out of it. He glanced at Dean, who continued to watch him. "I'd just gotten back to the room a few minutes before you called, Caleb was…" the player paused, not sure how to explain how he'd found his friend.

Concern crossed the Preacher's face, "He was what?"

"He was out of it when I came in." Moose ran his hand over his short hair, "At first I thought he had taken something, or been slipped something, I couldn't even get him to answer me or look at me, it was almost like I wasn't there. Then he tried to get to the phone and that's when you called." The younger man sat back as he continued to look at Jim, "Then when I heard him tell you that he was going to drive up here, I didn't know what to think so I followed him out. I found him in the parking lot throwing up, that's when I figured he wasn't in any shape to drive."

Jim smiled sadly at Moose, "Thank you for watching out for him. It's good to know he has people who care about him even when he's away from us."

Moose watched the man across from him; it was obvious he cared a great deal about Caleb. The football player had so many things he wanted to know, wanted to ask the Pastor about his friend, like what Caleb meant when he had said he'd 'seen' what happened, but he wasn't sure if that was really any of his business. Even though he and Caleb were roommates and would sometimes hang out together, they weren't what you would call best friends. Caleb had a way of keeping himself distantensted from others, even while being friends with them. To Moose, it was like Caleb was afraid to allow others to get too close. A couple minutes passed before Oliver spoke again, something Caleb had said during the drive was really bothering the young man, "Caleb asked me a strange question on our way here."

Jim noticed John look up at that comment. "What was that?"

Moose cleared his throat nervously, "After you talked to him, he told me about his parents and his grandmother, then he got real quiet for a minute, he asked…" Oliver hesitated a moment before continuing, "He asked why death followed him?" The younger man watched as the Pastor paled slightly.

Jim couldn't school his reaction quick enough as Moose revealed the question, this was something that Mackland, as well as himself, had always worried about with Caleb. The eminence guilt the boy carried when those close to him were hurt, especially, as Jim suspected, when the psychic had apparently had a vision of his father's shooting.

"God damn it!" John growled out, startling those in the room, hearing the comment, the older hunter knew he was the reason that Caleb was contemplating that question. Standing John stormed down the hallway, needing space.

Jim tried to compose himself as he watched John's retreating back, then glancing over at Dean and Sammy, who were quietly watching him. Finally he looked back at the young man across from him, "Caleb had a rough life before Mackland adopted him, he witnessed more in his childhood than most adults do in there entire lives, that has left issues that only his father can help him with. We can try, we can be there for him, but Mackland is the only one who has every really been able to help Caleb come to terms with his past and I honestly don't know what will happen if…" Jim couldn't finish the statement; he really didn't want to think about the possibility of Mackland not pulling through this. The Preacher knew all to well the tightrope that Caleb walked with his emotions, with his misdirected guilt. The older man didn't want to think of what it would do to Caleb if he lost another person he cared about.


	5. Chapter 5

Vision  
Chapter 5  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Caleb silently followed the nurse down a separate hallway, his anxiety and fear increasing as he drew closer to where he knew he would find his Dad. Over the hours his mind played through the memories he had of Mac, starting with the first time they had meet. Caleb had heard the man's concerned voice through the drug induced haze that had been a result of a family court judge and doctor at a psychiatric hospital not understanding what the twelve-year old was experiencing, not knowing what he was-a very powerful psychic. It had been a desperate plea that Caleb had inadvertently sent out that was first picked up by one Missouri Mosley, who then sent Jim and Mac in search for the youth.

That first night, though he was unable to react to the man, the sound of Mac's voice calmed the terrified child's soul. When the Doctor returned the next day, Caleb played the hard-ass delinquent that he showed every adult he came in contact with, but his attitude didn't seem to have the same effect on Mac as it did on everyone else the child had encountered in his short life. Instead of abandoning the kid the Doctor was drawn to him that much more, as was Caleb to him.

It was when Mac had saved Caleb, from Daniel Elkins; the Knight of the Brotherhood of the time, who had thought the child was possessed by a Demon, that Caleb realized that there was someone out in the world who cared about him. Over the first couple of years, the teen tried so many things to bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy, to get Mac to send him back into the child care system he had been a part for nearly half his life, but the harder Caleb pushed, the more Mac cared.

Mac was the one who explained Caleb's 'visions' to him, the one that helped him develop his other psychic abilities as well, one of which was the ability to enter other's minds; read their thoughts. Mac was also the one that gave him unconditional love and a family the young man had so desperately wanted since he was six years old. Caleb would never forget the look on Mac's face when he graduated high school, then when the young psychic had told him he wanted to go to Auburn to study Architecture, his father had been so proud. Mac had always told Caleb he needed to balance his life between hunting and the real world.

Having stopped in front of the cubicle that contained his father, Caleb felt that balance crumbling, his world was hanging on the man behind the curtain, if Caleb lost that stability, the one person who anchored him, he didn't know what would happen. Taking a deep breath, Caleb stepped through the opening.

It was the clicking, whoosh sound that he heard first, followed by the faint beeping of the heart monitor. Caleb slowly moved away from the nurse that had followed him into the cubicle, "Mac…" he whispered as his breath caught in his throat at the sight of the man who meant the world to him lying motionless on the hospital bed, nearly as white as the sheet that covered him. However, it was the large bandage taped to the older man's chest that drew Caleb's attention as a deep-red spot bleed through the pristine white gauze. For an instant Caleb's mind flashed back fourteen years, to the small child hiding in the closet watching through the slits as his father brutally killed his mother, then himself. "Oh God, not again." the young man whispered as he came to a stop next to Mac.

The young psychic raised a hand, gently laying it on top of his father's head, the other taking Mac's lax hand. Caleb leaned over a little; feeling tears fill his eyes as he looked at his father. He had teased the older man over the years about the grey hairs that had started to appear in his hair and mustache. Mac would tell Caleb it was his fault, because he worried so much about his son. Looking at the still face, Mac didn't look his age, however the younger man could see the crinkled lines at the corner of his Dad's eyes, the ones that showed a little more when his father would smile or laugh, something Caleb enjoyed making Mac do, because the Doctor was known to take things too seriously at times.

"You hold on Dad, you hear me? Don't you give up; I can't do this without you." Caleb softly spoke as he ran a hand through his father's hair, giving the older man's hand a gentle squeeze. The young psychic was almost afraid to attempt what he was going to do next, but he needed to know. Glancing to see where the nurse was, her back too him making notes in Mac's chart, Caleb took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After a moment his eyes snapped open, "No Dad…" escaped his lips in a strangled cry as he laid his forehead against Mac's, "Don't do that to me."

"Sir, I'm sorry, but your time is up. I'll come and get you in the next hour." The nurse spoke quietly, her heart clinching a little at the devastated look on the young man's face. It was obvious, even to a stranger, that there was a close bond between this father and son and the son was terrified it would be lost.

Caleb nodded as he placed a kiss on his Dad's forehead, giving his hand one last squeeze before he left the room.

------------

Dean had been watching the door his best friend had disappeared through. Pastor Jim had taken Sammy in search of John, who had yet to return. Moose sat nervously with the twelve-year old, not that kids made the young man nervous in general, but there was something about the child that made Moose a little bit afraid of him. He could tell by Caleb's reaction when he realized the children had seen his outburst that his roommate cared for these kids, though Moose didn't know just yet how they were related, only by the attitude the pre-teen had given him earlier, there was no doubt they were close.

"Shit!" Dean's voice surprised Moose as the young boy jumped up, rushing toward the ICU doors. Moose's eyes traveled in the same direction. It was then he noticed the pale, barely standing form of his roommate. "Damien!" Dean shouted as the smaller boy just barely caught Caleb as the young man's knees gave out. Fortunately for Dean, Moose had rushed forward as well and between the both of them were able to get Caleb back to one of the chairs, just as John, Jim and Sammy rounded the corner.

The pale, lost look on Caleb's face propelled Jim forward, "Caleb!"

"Sick…" the younger man whispered, Dean seemed to be the only one to react as he frantically searched and found a small trash can under a nearby table, pushing it into his friend's lap, just as Caleb started to dry heave, not having eaten since he had lost last night's dinner in the parking lot at Auburn.

A nurse appeared with a wet washcloth and a small cup of water, "This might help." she handed the items to John, who was standing just behind Jim as he knelt in front of Caleb.

Jim took the cup, "Here, take a small drink." his calm voice masking his concern at the shaken appearance of the youth. Caleb's hand was shaking too much to hold the cup so Dean took it from Jim and helped his friend take a sip.

"Caleb, you with me?" Jim whispered as he watched Caleb spit into the trash can, then lean back in the chair, taking a few deep breaths.

It was another moment before the twenty-year old could speak, looking at the concerned faces before him, he zeroed in on Jim, "I couldn't find him…" tears welled in his golden eyes, "Jim, I almost couldn't find him."

Moose watched as worry again crossed the others faces. He didn't understand what his friend meant, but by the reaction of those around him, it wasn't necessarily good. The football player took that moment to back up into a nearby chair, giving Caleb's family a chance to comfort him.

Jim reached up and put his hand on the young man's shoulder, "We have to have faith that Mackland with pull through this, we can't loose hope."

Caleb leaned forward, putting his head in his hand, "This is my fault," he whispered, "I told him years ago he should have put me somewhere where I couldn't hurt anyone, but he didn't listen, he thought I'd be different, but there's no outrunning my past." pleading eyes looked at Jim, "I can't lose anyone else Jim, I can't."

"You know this has nothing to do with you and I don't want to hear you mention it again. Your family's history is not who you are. You are the young man Mackland Ames took in and loved, who he cares about more than anything, don't you dare give up on your father, because I'll tell you right now, he would never give up on you." Jim stood as Dean sat next to Caleb, trying to stay close if he was needed. John had taken the trash can to dispose of its contents as Sammy came to sit next to his brother. "Now I'm going to go and find us a couple of hotel rooms, so we can stay close, you boys," Jim looked at Dean and Sammy, as well as Caleb. "Need a place to rest." Then glancing at Oliver, "and I dare say young man you will probably need a way back to school."

Oliver looked up at Jim as the Pastor stood in front of him, "I can catch a bus back to Auburn, I just want to make sure Caleb is going to be okay."

"And again I thank you for that." Jim held his hand out to the younger man. The Guardian then motioned for John to follow him a few steps. Moose moved closer to Caleb, who had his head tilted back, eyes closed. The young psychic was trying to come to terms with the condition in which he had just seen and 'felt' his father.


	6. Chapter 6

Vision  
Chapter 6  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Moose watched as Dean kept a comforting hand on Caleb's shoulder. The football player had a couple of younger brothers and could remember watching how they acted around others, he could honestly say he had never seen a kid Dean's age be so concerned about another person to the point of offering the comfort the younger boy was now offering. It struck Moose that Dean seemed so much more mature than any kid his age should be. Oliver leaned forward a little, speaking to Caleb, "Hey man, you doing okay?"

Dean glared at Moose, "How do you think he's doing…" Caleb cut the younger boy's comment off.

"Down Deuce, I don't need an attack dog." Caleb raised his head, looking at the younger boy who just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever…" Dean whispered looking over at his little brother, who hadn't said much in hours.

Caleb looked at his roommate, "Not really, but does it matter?" Caleb rubbed his hands over his face.

"Of course it matters." Moose was trying to be supportive, but he had never been around anyone in a situation like this.

Caleb let out a nervous chuckle that sounded like a sob, "To who man, my Dad's back there dying and there isn't one damn thing I can do to stop it, so does it really matter if I'm okay?"

"Jim said we have to believe Mac's…" Sammy's small voice spoke up, but was interrupted by the young psychic.

Caleb felt anger boil to the surface, "What Sammy, believe Mac's gonna pull through this, that he will be okay? I wouldn't be to sure about that, from what I could tell, he was about as far away from okay as he could get and still be here. So tell me Sammy, how is me believing he's going to get better actually going to make him better?" his temper was getting the better of him as the next words slipped from his mouth before they even registered in his brain, "You should feel lucky you don't remember what it's like to lose a parent, then you can't miss what you don't remember."

It was the shocked expression on Sammy's face, as Caleb watched tears well into the younger boys eyes, that made the young psychic realize what he had just said, he then watched the small boy get up and run down the hall. Dean was on his feet the instant his brother took off, "Sammy!" the twelve-year old turned and glared at his best friend, "What the hell, Damien?"

Caleb stumbled as he tried to speak, realizing the hurt he had just caused the two smaller boys, "Deuce, look I'm so…"

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't fix everything Caleb." Dean turned and took off down the hall to catch up with his little brother.

It was the sting of the younger boy using his given name that shocked Caleb more than anything; it told the young psychic just how much he had screwed up. "DAMN IT!" Caleb shouted as he hit the back of his head against the wall.

Moose watched as his friend seemed to deflate at what had just happened. He wasn't really sure what he should do at the moment, he wanted to help his friend, but didn't know how. "I'm sorry." Oliver spoke.

"For what Moose? You didn't do anything; I'm the one who keeps fucking up." Caleb looked back at the man across from him, "I appreciate you getting me here, I don't think I could have done it myself, but I'm sure you need to be getting back, don't you guys have practice in the morning?"

"It is morning." Moose smiled, "Don't worry about it, this was more important."

"When Pastor Jim gets back I'll get him to take you to the airport, then you won't have to endure that damn long ride back on a bus." Caleb stopped Moose's attempt to interrupt him, "I owe you at least that. Can you get a hold of my professors, tell them what's going on and that it may be a while before I get back."

"You know I'll take care of that stuff." Moose watched his roommate closely, "I just wish there was something else I could do."

A devastated golden gaze looked into Oliver's face, "Do you pray much?" Caleb again laid his head back, closing his eyes as silence settled over the waiting room.

------------------

"Sammy, wait up!" Dean followed his brother into the small room that held the vending machines. The eight-year old finally stopped as he entered the room finding his father sitting at one of the two small tables that the room held.

"Sammy?" John was next to his son, just as Dean entered the room, "Dean? What's wrong?" At seeing his youngest so upset, followed by his brother, John feared the worst, "Is Mac okay?"

Dean came to stand next to Sammy; John knelt in front of his youngest. "As far as we know, Caleb's being an ass though." John was a little surprised to see Dean upset with his best friend, especially with what was happening.

The older man felt the younger hunter had every right to be pissed with him, but he didn't like the idea of Caleb taking it out on the boys. "What happened?" John was going to try and give the hurting boy the benefit of the doubt.

"He said…" Dean started, but Sammy started rambling, tears again filling his eyes.

"He said he didn't believe Mac would get better, that what's the point when he couldn't feel him, he said…" Sammy took a breath as the faster he talked the more upset he got. "He said it was good I couldn't remember mom so I couldn't miss her." A sob escaped Sammy as he leaned into his father, John wrapping his arms around the smaller boy.

"What?" John wasn't sure if he heard right, as he looked at Dean to clarify.

"He said Sammy should feel lucky he didn't remember what it's like to lose a parent, then he couldn't miss what he couldn't remember." Dean seemed hurt as well, that his friend was say something so mean to Sammy. It saddened Dean that his little brother couldn't remember their mother, that's why the older boy would try and tell his brother stories about what he could remember about their mother, hoping one day their father would fill in the rest. "Why would he say that?"

John put his hand on Dean's shoulder, holding onto Sammy with the other, "Caleb's scared and he's angry and he's not thinking straight. Dean you know his biggest fear is losing Mac, he's lost so much already. Like us, there is only so much loss a person can take before they feel like giving up themselves. Do you understand?"

Dean nodded a little, he could understand some of how Caleb was feeling, it was Dean's greatest fear that something would happen to Sammy or his father. He couldn't imagine what he would do if he were in Caleb's shoes right now. John's voice spoke quietly as he lead his boys to the table, "We just need to be here for him, let him know he's not alone and pray Mac pulls through this, because if he doesn't, we could lose Caleb too." John was never one to sugar coat anything, especially to his children. He knew Dean understood, the boy had seen too much in his young life to not know how one persons existence could change the course of the lives of all those around them.


	7. Chapter 7

Vision  
Chapter 7  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

It was nearly time for Caleb to be allowed back to see Mac again when Pastor Jim returned. The older man came and sat next to the young hunter, "No change?"

Caleb raised his head; lost eye's looking at the Pastor, "Not unless you count me screwing things up with Sammy and Dean change."

Jim glanced at Moose, who shrugged his shoulders slightly, then back at Caleb, "What do you mean?"

Caleb leaned forward, blowing out a deep breath, "Sammy said something about believing Dad's gonna get better and I snapped and said something I shouldn't have. Let's just say it's not my day to be around any of the Winchesters." The young man noticed the nurse before the others and stood. "Jim when I get back, could you take Moose to the airport so he can catch a flight back to school."

Jim stood, "Don't worry about that, I'll make sure your friend makes his way back. Right now you need to concentrate on being there for Mackland."

"Yeah" Caleb whispered as he again followed the nurse back.

* * *

The next few hours passed, during which time, John had taken the boys to the nearby hotel Jim had found and the Pastor took Moose to the airport, leaving Caleb alone at the hospital for a couple hours, each of the men feeling that the young psychic needed some space.

It was near dinner time when Jim returned, finding Caleb in the same spot he had left him earlier that morning. He had gotten a couple cups of coffee at a local fast-food place, figuring it would be better than the vending machine stuff he was sure Caleb had been drinking. "You should get something to eat." Jim sat down next to the younger man, handing him the coffee.

"I'm fine." Caleb whispered, accepting the coffee. "Will you come back with me to see Dad?" Jim could see how much this was weighing on the boy, especially after having to experience the vision of what happened.

"If they will allow me to, of course." Jim answered as they waited for the appointed time.

The nurse no longer came out to get Caleb; the younger man would just continuously watch the clock and walk through the ICU doors at the bottom of every hour. This time he did stop at the nurse's desk to ask if Jim could accompany him back. This one time they did allow a second person into the ICU. Jim followed Caleb down to the cubicle that held Mac; the young hunter no longer hesitated at the door, but walked straight to his father's side, taking Mac's hand. It nearly broke his heart as Jim stood at the foot of the bed and watched Caleb speak softly to Mac, pleading with him to hold on.

------------------

Dean had fallen asleep shortly after his father had brought them to the motel that Jim had found a few blocks from the hospital. The oldest Winchester boy wasn't prone to dream much, nightmares occasionally, but he could hardly ever remember having a normal dream, but as he continued to sleep, his subconscious was back at Jim's farm.

_Dean found himself near the pond at Jim's farm, looking around he noticed he seemed to be alone. He could see his father's Impala, Jim's old beat-up pickup and the Land Rover Mac would normally drive. The banged-up blue Jeep that belonged to his best friend was also parked in the drive. For a moment the pre-teen found it strange that with all the cars there he couldn't hear any sound coming from the house, but as his attention was drawn to the ripples on the pond the concern for the lack of noise faded as the small waves soundlessly reached the bank. "Dean…" The young boy turned at the sound of his name, surprised to see Mac standing next to the tree._

"_Mac?" Dean felt a hint of panic as Mac didn't look like himself. The Doctor's eye's looked tired and his skin was pale. "Are you okay?" The young boy moved toward his friend's father._

_Mac tried to give a reassuring smile, but could tell by Dean's face it failed miserably. "I'm not sure." Dean found it strange that the man before him seemed almost scared. "Dean, I need you to do something for me."_

_Dean came to stand next to the older man, glancing toward the house, feeling the need to get the Mac some help, "Anything Mac, you know I'll do anything, but you're starting to scare me."_

_Dean felt the man, he saw as a favorite Uncle, place a hand on his shoulder, leaning over a little to look the boy in the eyes. "I need you to find Caleb, he needs you. I'm fighting as hard as I can, but I don't know if it is enough. Please son, you need to find Caleb, don't let him give up… hope." the last word was strangled as Mac dropped to his knees._

"_MAC!" Dean tried to keep the Scholar upright._

"_Find Caleb, Dean, please." Dean noticed a stain of blood spread across Mac's blue shirt as the Doctor's eye's closed, his body going limp against Dean._

"_MAC!"_

"MAC!" Dean yelled out from his sleep, sitting up in the bed, causing Sammy to jump, John rushing back into the room from the bathroom.

"Dean?" John crossed to his oldest as the boy tried to get his breathing under control.

Panicked eyes met John's, "Dad, I have to find Caleb…" Dean jumped from the bed, grabbing his tennis shoes as his father and brother watched from the bed.

"Dean, what's wrong?" John stood, grabbing his son's arms, surprised when the older boy was able to break the hold and step back a few feet.

"Dad, I have to get back to the hospital, to Caleb. Mac wants me to find Caleb." Dean grabbed his jacket as he stepped toward the door.

"Dean, Jim's with Caleb, it will be okay until morning, then we will go back up to the hospital." John took another step toward his son.

The older boy never disobeyed his father, but something with the way Mac was talking in his dream, the way he was acting told Dean he had to go now. "Damnit Dad, Caleb needs me; if you won't take me I'll go myself." John stood stunned a moment as he watched Dean storm out the motel room door.

Making his way to the edge of the parking lot Dean knew he would probably have to pay for storming out of the room away from his father, but the man didn't understand, Mac needed him to find Caleb and that was what he was going to do. Looking around for a moment, Dean saw the outline of the hospital a few blocks down. It was late at night, maybe early morning, he wasn't sure, but there wasn't much traffic. His feet started carrying him toward the medical facility, with each step his need to get there increased until the boy was running at full speed down the city streets, not stopping until he reached the entrance.

Stopping to catch his breath, Dean knew they probably wouldn't let a twelve-year old into the building by himself, especially after visiting hours, but he needed to get inside. Waiting a few moments, Dean heard sirens approaching; he waited for the distraction that the ambulance brought to slip inside and to the elevators. Once safely inside, he hit number six, taking him to the floor Mac had last been on.


	8. Chapter 8

Vision  
Chapter 8  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

The last two visits Caleb had made alone, since the nurses had made the exception a couple hours ago to allow Jim back, they were back to only allowing Caleb. Jim sat in the waiting room, going over in his mind the image of the Scholar looking battered and broken in the hospital bed. The Pastor hadn't really wanted to believe the seriousness of Mac's injuries, that was until he say how his friend wasn't breathing on his own, how he had several machines hooked to him, monitoring every single vital function that the human body needed to survive. As a Preacher and Guardian he had witnessed the deaths of many people over the years, natural causes, illness, tragic accidents and a few from senseless violence. He could not shake the feeling that he was watching his friend die.

It was the sound of a code being called over the intercom that had Jim on his feet, moving toward the ICU doors. One of the nurses buzzed him in, knowing he was not only a friend of the man the code was called on, but a Pastor as well. Coming through the doors Jim saw several people rushing into the cubical that held Mac, Caleb's panicked voice rising above the noise, "DAD! What's happening?" Jim ran the rest of the way as he watched one of the male nurses push Caleb into the hallway. "God Damnit Mac! Don't you fuckin give up on me!" Caleb yelled toward the room, "Don't you give up." he whispered as Jim neared him.

Looking into the room Jim watched as the monitors were screaming that the life they had been monitoring was fading fast, over the shouts back and forth the Pastor heard the doctor yell 'Clear' then watched in horror as Mac's body arched on the bed.

'Clear!' echoed again as Caleb started mumbling, "Nonono", Jim glancing at the boy, fear and devastation clear on the twenty-year olds face, "I can't do this…I can't…" Caleb mumbled again as he started making his way toward the silver doors at the far end of the hall.

"Caleb!" Jim turned to follow the boy, but the sound of another shouted 'Clear!' had the older man's attention, turning back again he noticed Caleb was gone.

"I've got a rhythm, I need him back in the OR, Stat!" The doctor shouted as the activity continued, the nurses pushing Mac's bed from the cubical, back toward the Operating Room.

Jim grabbed the doctor's arm as the man exited the room, "What happened? Is he going to be all right?"

"His blood pressure bottomed out, it could mean we missed a bleeder or that a new one developed, I won't know until I open him back up." The doctor looked toward where his patient was going. "I'm sorry, I'll come speak with you afterward." without a second look the younger man took off running down the hall, hoping to save his patient.

Jim rubbed his hand over his face, "Okay…" he whispered to himself, "Mackland's alive at the moment, I need to find Caleb." Jim jogged back down the hall, hoping he would find the distraught psychic in the waiting room. Coming through the doors the Pastor's heart sunk, "Of course it wouldn't be that easy." Jim mumbled, not seeing Caleb anywhere in sight.

---------------

The elevator dinged on the sixth floor, Dean exited, making his way down the empty halls toward the waiting room. Coming into view of the silver doors that lead down the hall to the ICU Dean felt his heart drop to his stomach at a pale and clearly shaken Pastor Jim.

Rushing toward the man Dean shouted, "Pastor Jim, what's wrong?"

Jim turned at the sound of his name, clearly not expecting to see the twelve-year old, "Dean? What are you doing here, is your father with you?" the Guardian was in desperate need of his Knight as the future Knight had seemed to have disappeared.

"I'm alone, what's wrong? Is Mac okay? Where's Caleb?" Dean rambled out the question, dread filling his soul.

Taking a deep breath Jim looked at the preteen, "Dean, there was a problem…"

The younger boy doubled over, placing his hands on his knees, his breath feeling like it had been sucked from his lungs, "Oh God…"

Jim took the boy's shoulders, getting his attention, "They had to rush Mackland back into the OR, but his heart stopped for a couple minutes, Son Caleb doesn't know his father is still alive, he took off as they were trying to resuscitate Mackland." Jim locked eyes with the youth, "Dean we need to find Caleb, I don't know what he might do if he thinks his father's dead."

Even at the young age of twelve, Dean knew full well exactly what Jim meant by that statement. _'You have to find Caleb…"_ Mac's words echoed in Dean's head as he turned, heading down the hallway, in search for his best friend.

-----------------

The pain was more than he could deal with. When his parents died he was too young to understand the connection he shared with them, only that he was alone and scared. With his grandmother the bond wasn't as strong, even from the young age of six he had tried not to allow others too close for fear of them leaving him. Throughout his adolescents he had built walls around himself, no one ever got through them. His rebellion had been to keep others away so he wouldn't form an attachment to someone else, someone he could lose. But when Mac came into his life, saving him from Daniel Elkins and himself, the walls he had built up started to crack, allowing hope, caring and yes love to filter back into the broken boy's existence.

Over the last eight years Caleb had felt more love and caring from another person than he had since his parent's death. He had allowed himself to love and care about another person more than he had ever thought possible, but as he felt his father's body jerk under his hand, as he heard the loud screech from the heart monitor, he felt the connection, the deep internal link he had with his father, snap.

Emptiness filled his soul so quickly that he immediately felt sick and dizzy, he heard his voice scream out at his father, he watched medical personal swarm the man he cared about more than life itself, he then felt himself being shoved from the room. The horrific sight of his father's lifeless body arching on the hospital bed brought Caleb's world crashing down around him. He remembered mumbling 'Nonono', then the feeling of needing to escape the horror before him, mumbling 'I can't do this…' he turned and bolted down the hallway, away from his world being ripped apart.

Tears filled his eyes as he hit the door leading to the stairwell, his mind on autopilot, not caring where his legs carried him as long as it was away from his pain, from his loss. He barely heard the concerned voices of the hospital staff asking if he was all right as he exited on the ground floor. He knew he would never be all right again, his father, the man who had taken in a smart-ass, extremely troubled twelve-year old was gone-no he would never be all right again. He needed to be alone, to many people were starting to notice him, his bleared eye's caught sight of door that looked slightly different than all the rest, pushing through it he fumbled with the lock on the other side, hearing it latch he stumbled sideways, sliding down the wall, pulling his knees up, burying his head in his hands as the sounds of his heart wrenching cries could be heard in the hallway outside the room labeled: Chapel.

--------------

Dean was jogging down the hallway, checking any door that would open, to see if his friend was in one of the rooms, so far he had found nothing. Jim had remained near the ICU talking with the nurses, trying to see if any of them remembered seeing Caleb rush past; unfortunately none of them recalled the devastated young man leaving in the organized confusion of Mac crashing.

As the twelve-year old continued he came to the door leading to the stairs, taking a deep breath he pushed the door open. "Okay Dean, think, you know him, where would he go." after a few seconds it hit him. There had been a few times over the years that while at Jim's Caleb would just disappear, maybe only once or twice a year, but Dean had noticed. One day, a then ten-year old, Dean followed his friend. It was a good five mile walk from Jim's farm to his church in New Haven, but as well trained as John made sure the boys were it wasn't much of an exertion. Dean had caught sight of Caleb heading down Jim's drive and decided to follow, staying in the trees so his friend wouldn't see him. Surprisingly Dean had remained undetected by the older boy as he watched Caleb enter Jim's church. Dean knew Jim was still at the house, so it confused the younger boy as to why Caleb would be there, soundlessly slipping inside the ten-year old heard a sound that scared him; it was the sound of his best friend crying.

Making his way into the back of the sanctuary Dean was able to make out the form of the older boy in a pew toward the front. Fearing something was wrong with his friend Dean slowly moved forward until he was standing next to the teen, the ten-year olds worry increased at the thought he had gotten this close to Caleb and the older boy didn't seem to notice. "Caleb?" the quiet whisper seemed to echo loudly in the large room.

"Deuce?" Caleb straightened up, rubbing his hand over his face, clearing his throat. "What are you doing here?"

Looking down as he shuffled his feet the smaller boy glanced up at the teen, "I followed you, I just wanted to know where you were going is all." Dean hoped his friend wasn't angry with him. "Are you okay? You were crying, are you hurt?"

Caleb scooted over, patting the seat next to him; Dean took that as he wasn't in too much trouble. "I'm not hurt Deuce…" blowing out a deep breath the teen again ran his hand over his face, "I'm sad." Sometimes Caleb found it funny at how easy it was for him to tell the younger boy exactly how he was feeling. Maybe it was the connection he knew he shared with the child, of how both of their childhoods had been ripped apart by evil. It was a connection that he wished they didn't share, but at the same time was grateful for, it helped the older boy know he wasn't alone.

"Why are you sad?" Dean didn't understand, everything seemed fine at breakfast that morning, the normal bickering back and forth had not given any hint to how his friend appeared now.

"Today's the day my mom and dad died." Caleb felt tears again as he looked back at the altar, the large cross looming behind it.

"And you miss them." it wasn't a question; Dean knew very well what it was like to miss your parents. He missed his mother everyday, he even missed his father, or at least the way his dad was before his mom died. Dean had come to realize over the years as he grew older a large part of his father died that night along with his mother and Dean would sometimes cry for what he and Sammy had both lost that night.

"Yeah, I do." Caleb choked out, closing his eyes as tears escaped.

Dean cleared his throat as he looked at the grieving face next to him, "Well you've got me." the small boy wished he could make his friends pain go away, but knew he could only help ease it, it would never go away completely.

Caleb couldn't help the chuckle that escaped as he looked at the ten-year old, the seriousness in the child's eyes overwhelmed the teen, he had only ever seen the complete, unconditional love from one other person since his parents had died and that was Mac. The small boy beside him was offering a safe haven, someplace he knew he wouldn't be judged for feeling his loss. Someplace he could completely fall apart and there would be someone to help put him back together. Pulling the boy closer, the child wrapping his arms around the teen's chest, Caleb kissed the top of Dean's head, "Yeah I do."

The memory faded as Dean made his way down the stairs, looking for the one place Caleb would have sought out, even if it was subconsciously, Dean pushed through the doorway on the first floor and raced toward the Chapel.


	9. Chapter 9

Vision  
Chapter 9  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Dean was thankful it was still really early as only a few of the hospital staff were drifting through the halls, mostly cleaning crew since the doctors and nurses were in more important area, so no one seemed to notice that a twelve-year old was running down the hallway searching for the Chapel. He didn't want to ask for directions for fear that someone would stop him from reaching his friend. In his haste he ran past the room at first, but the devastating sound coming from the closed door caused him to turn around. Leaning his ear to the door the knot in his stomach tightened as he knew he had found Caleb. Pushing on the door, it only took a second to realize the twenty-year old had locked himself in the room.

"Caleb!" Dean yelled as he started knocking frantically on the door, when he didn't get a response he reached inside his jacket and pulled out the lock-pick set his father had given him when he was eight. Thankful for his father's unusual lessons, Dean made quick work of the lock, quietly slipping into the room before anyone could see him. "Damien!"

The scene that greeted the twelve-year old caused his heart to clinch, his best friend, his big brother, was curled in on himself, lost in the devastation of thinking his father was dead. Slowly making his way to Caleb, Dean tried not to startle the older boy; "Damien?" kneeling in front of his friend, the smaller boy laid a gentle hand on Caleb's shoulder.

Haunting eye's met moss-green ones, Dean did the only thing he could think of, he reached over and wrapped his arms around his friends shoulder, "its okay…" he whispered into Caleb's ear.

He felt Caleb start to shake his head, "No it's not Deuce, he's gone…" a hiccupped breath escaped the grieving man, "I can't do this again…I can't…"

"Mac's alive Caleb, he's in surgery again, but Jim said he was still alive." Dean was hoping his words were filtering through the haze of emotion that Caleb was gripped in.

Caleb continued to shake his head, "I can't feel him, I lost him when he…" the knot in the young man's throat caused him to choke on his words.

Dean held his friend tighter as Caleb didn't want to believe that his father was still alive. "Have you tried to find him again, just try and you'll see. Damien, Jim wouldn't lie about this, I wouldn't lie about it, you have to believe me, just try and connect with him, please."

The pleading in the small boy's voice finally broke through and Caleb attempted to take a deep breath, his breathing hitched as he wanted desperately to believe. Closing his eyes the young psychic focused on the feeling, the connection he shared with Mac, the one he felt break. "Oh God." Caleb's eyes snapped open, meeting tear-filled green ones.

"I told you; please we need to get back upstairs." Releasing his hold on Caleb, Dean stepped back offering his friend a hand. Upon reaching his feet the twenty-year old pulled Dean into a tight hug, running his hand over his own face, Caleb took a step toward the door.

As Dean went to follow something on the floor caught his eye. "Shit" the younger boy whispered, hoping Caleb wouldn't notice, Dean quickly reached down and picked up the solid black 9mm that Caleb always had with him. For a moment Dean let the fear of what it was doing out of it's holster at the back of Caleb's jeans fill him, he quickly checked the safety and stuck it in his coat pocket, grateful his pocket had a zipper as he secured the weapon to give to Pastor Jim later.

Stepping into the hallway, Dean noticed Caleb leaning with one arm against the wall, "You okay?"

"Give me a minute." Caleb's breathing was still coming out harshly; still unable to shake the feeling of the connection to his father being lost, even though he had just felt it again as he searched the older man out, knowing now he was indeed still alive.

"Dean! Caleb!" The twelve-year old looked up to see Jim running down the hall toward them.

Looking back at Caleb the ten-year old saw him shake his head slightly, as if trying to clear it. He then watched as his friend took a step forward, whispering out "Jim?" before his legs gave out.

"Damien! Caleb!" Dean and Jim both yelled at the same time as the twelve-year old tried to control Caleb's collapse, the older man's weight taking them both to the floor. Jim reached them as Dean struggled to keep Caleb from hitting the floor too hard. Easing the unconscious man down, Jim quickly checked his pulse. "What's wrong with him?" Dean asked, fear clear in his voice.

Jim looked up from the unconscious figure to the scared boy next to him, "I think it combination of exhaustion and the emotional roller coaster he's been on the last two days, were you able to get him to understand that Mackland was still alive?" Jim returned his gaze to the man on the floor, his respiration rather fast for someone unconscious.

"Yeah, he was able to connect with him." Dean watched his friend."Dean I need you to go and get some help, I think he may be going into shock, Son I need you to hurry." Jim watched as the seriousness of the situation registered with Dean, without a word the twelve-year old was on his feet, running down the hallway toward the Emergency Room.

Laying his hand on Caleb's chest, his breathing and heart rate still a concern to Jim, the older man prayed he wasn't on the verge of losing two people he cared very much about.

-------------------

Dean ran as fast as he could, not caring if someone noticed him now, his best friend needed help. Rounding the corner to the hallway that led to the Emergency Room, he was startled by the figure of his father heading toward him, his little brother yelling his name, "Dean!"

"What the hell were you thinking running off like that?" John's voice boomed down the empty hallway as he saw his eldest coming toward him, grabbing the young boy as Dean nearly ran into him. Finally looking at his son's face the older man's heart clinched, there was fear in his son's eyes, "Dean what's wrong? Did something happen to Mac?"

Trying desperately to catch his breath he looked at his little brother then his father, "Caleb…he needs help…"

"What?" John's mind started to reel, his son's plea back in the motel, telling him he had to find Caleb came back to the older hunter. "Where's Caleb?"

"Jim's…" Still trying to catch his breath, as well as trying to pull from his father's grip, to get help. "With him, outside the chapel…I need to get help."

Finally Dean broke loose and continued down the hall, John close behind. Reaching the counter the small boy yelled, "I need some help, my friend, he's near the chapel he needs some help…" John and Sammy came to a halt behind Dean, the nurse and security guard giving them weary looks. "Please!"

"Sir?" the nurse directed he question to John.

"Something's wrong with my nephew, he needs help now!" John didn't know exactly what was wrong, but if Dean was that desperate to draw attention to himself, then something was going on.

"Joe can you come with me?" the nurse behind the counter looked toward the guard. Nodding the guard followed the nurse as Dean took back off down the hallway, seeing that someone was finally listening to him.

John allowed the nurse and guard to go in front of him, following Dean, Sammy trailing close to his dad. "Is something wrong with Caleb?" Sammy asked as they jogged to keep up.

"I don't know." Was all John said as he rounded the corner and noticed the guard and nurse increase their speed, coming closer John felt his heart drop to his stomach as he was finally able to make out the two figures on the floor about halfway down the hallway, it was Jim, kneeling next to what appeared to be an unconscious Caleb.


	10. Chapter 10

Vision  
Chapter 10  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

The Nurse raced forward once she rounded the corner, seeing two men further down the hallway, one kneeling next to another, "Joe, the phone in the Chapel, call the desk and tell them we need help!" the Guard rushed into the room as the nurse dropped next to the two men, the smaller boy who had gotten their attention near the unconscious man's feet. Looking at Jim the nurse started to take Caleb's vitals asking "Can you tell me what happened?"

Jim watched the woman start to work, "I was coming to find him, his father is in the ICU and there was an incident before he was rushed back into surgery, Caleb believed his father had died and became upset, he rushed out before finding out that the doctor was able to revive him." Jim watched with worry as the nurse continued, "He hasn't eaten or slept for nearly two days, and with what happened upstairs, he just collapsed."

John felt like his own breath had just been pulled from his chest as he heard Jim mention that Mac had apparently crashed in the ICU and Caleb had witnessed it. The sound of several people approaching had John looking up as another nurse, an orderly and a doctor rounded the end of the hallway, pulling Sammy back John allowed them to pass as he watched Jim stand, pulling Dean with him.

"What have we got?" the white-coated man asked.

"Possible shock…" the nurse responded, "His breathing is shallow and heart rate is up."

"Okay…" the doctor helped the orderly and Jim get Caleb onto the gurney, "Let's get him back to the ER and try and figure out if that is what we are dealing with or if something else is going on." The group quickly made its way back down the hall, followed by Caleb's concerned family.

The two men and two children were stopped from entering the treatment area of the Emergency Room by the security guard. Within a couple minutes the nurse who had followed Dean came out the doors, Jim quickly approaching her, "Please, how is he?"

Holding up her hands, she wanted to try and calm the men in front of her, especially since the two smaller children where next to them, "The doctor is still evaluating him, I'm sorry, but can you tell me how you know the young man?" The nurse could tell that the men cared about the unconscious man, but she needed to know if she should share information with them.

"I'm Pastor Jim Murphy; I'm a close family friend of both Caleb and his father Mackland Ames, who has been in the ICU the last two days." Motioning to John, Jim continued, "This is John Winchester, Caleb's uncle."

"Okay, the doctor will be out as soon as he is finished evaluating Caleb…" she was wanting his last name as she hesitated.

"Reaves…Caleb Reaves." John finished for her.

She quickly started typing in the computer, then looked up at John, "Will you be able to take care of Mr. Reaves's paperwork?" John nodded as she handed him the clipboard. "As I said the doctor will be out soon."

John reluctantly took the clipboard and stepped away, still not knowing what had happened at the hospital, when he heard Jim speak to the nurse again. "Please, if he wakes up he may become upset, he doesn't like hospitals and he may not have understood when we tried to tell him is father was still alive, he was witness to the episode in the ICU."

"I promise you Pastor; we will take care of him and will come get you if needed, please have a seat." Jim turned as he met Dean's worried gaze, then turned to take a seat next to John.

John cleared his throat as Jim took the seat next to him, "You gonna tell me what the hell happened?" Sammy had taken a seat next to Dean who was across from Jim.

Running a hand through his disheveled hair, Jim blew out a deep-breath, "Mackland's heart stopped in the ICU while Caleb was back there with him. It took them a minute or so to get it started again, before they did, Caleb took off, he didn't know they had brought Mackland back and rushed him into surgery…" Jim stood, "I need to go back up their and let them know I'm down here with Caleb…"

John grabbed the older man's arm, "You tell me what happened, and once I finish the paperwork I'll head upstairs and you can stay here with Junior, you might be the only one who can convince him Mac is still alive. But that doesn't tell me what happened to Caleb."

Jim retook his seat, "I'm not really sure what happened, when I came out of the ICU Caleb was gone, then Dean showed up. I was checking with the staff upstairs to see if anyone had seen Caleb leave and Dean started looking for him."

Dean leaned forward, "Dad, I tried to tell you I needed to find Caleb, when I got here Pastor Jim didn't know where he had gone, so I started looking and found him in the Chapel, he had locked himself in there." The twelve-year old looked between the two men before him, "Once I picked the lock, I found him…" Dean wasn't sure how to describe the devastated shape he had found his best friend, "He said he had felt his connection to Mac break. It took me trying to tell him several times that Mac was in surgery, finally I convinced him to try and connect with Mac again, that's when he realized Mac was still alive, he had just made it into the hallway when you found us." Dean nodded at Jim.

"So he knows Mac is alive, right?" John looked at his son then to Jim.

"I think so; he seemed to have made the connection, before…" Dean didn't want to remember watching his friend collapse in the hallway; he didn't want to recall the sensation of trying to hold the older man's weight, trying to keep him from crashing into the floor.

John finished with the paperwork, returning the information to the nurse before reclaiming his seat next to Jim; he wanted to know about Caleb before heading upstairs. It was nearly thirty minutes before the doctor finally emerged, approaching the men he remembered seeing in the hallway the doctor spoke, "You gentlemen are with Mr. Reaves?"

Jim and John both stood, as well as Dean and Sammy, Jim spoke, "Yes, how is he?"

"Please, have a seat…" the doctor motioned as he took a seat opposite the men. "I believe Mr. Reaves' collapse was caused from extreme exhaustion, the nurse informed me that you mentioned he probably hasn't eaten in the last couple days, the blood test confirm that. I was also told he was witness to his father having to be resuscitated…" Jim nodded, "I believe that emotional trauma is adding to the situation."

"He's gonna be okay right?" Dean couldn't help but worry about his friend as his small voice asked the question.

The doctor gave the boy a weary smile, "I believe so," looking back at the men the physician continued, "We have started him on an IV to help with his fluid intake, we've also placed him on oxygen to help with his breathing, I can't tell you how long he may be unconscious, but rest is what he needs. This episode was his body's way of telling him he was pushing it further than it could go. If you give us a few more minutes I am going to have him moved to one of the more private areas of the ER, so he can still be monitored. You will be able to come back and sit with him if you wish, however, if he doesn't show signs of waking in a few hours we will probably admit him."

The doctor stood, Jim and John followed, shaking the younger doctor's hand, "Thank you."

Nodding the doctor turned to go, "I'll send a nurse out shortly to take you back."

John looked at Jim, "I'll head upstairs and see if they have any word on Mac." Looking at his son's he continued, "You boys need to come with me."

Taking a step toward the elevators John was stopped by his eldest's voice, "I'm staying with Caleb." It was rare for Dean to disobey, but as with earlier, when John turned around he saw an intensity in his son's eyes that told him there would be a fight if his father forced him to leave Caleb.

Sammy watched as his father approached Dean, placing a hand on his eldest's shoulder, John gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know I should have listened to you earlier, I'm sorry. You can stay down here with Jim, you are to listen to him and the doctor, but you need to understand I am still your father and you are to listen to me, the next time you take off like that there will be hell to pay, do you understand me?"

Dean was surprised he was being allowed to stay downstairs and had really expected more in the way of punishment than a warning to not do it again, "Yes, Sir", was his answer as he watched his father give him a nod before leading Sammy to the elevator.


	11. Chapter 11

Vision  
Chapter 11  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Dean watched his father and brother leave, heading back upstairs to Mac; he then turned to look at Pastor Jim. "Pastor Jim?" the boy was hesitant, but he needed to show and tell Jim what he found after Caleb had gotten up from the floor in the Chapel.

Jim picked up on the tone of the younger boy's voice, able to tell something was bothering him. "What is it Dean?"

The Pastor noted that Dean hadn't sat back down and now seemed almost scared, "I…I need to show you something, can we go down the hall some?" Dean knew a gun was not something he could hand over to the older man in the middle of an emergency room waiting area. Noticing the concerned look in Jim's eyes the boy pleaded, "Please?"

Jim stood, not really sure what was going on with Dean, but he seemed to understand that they needed some privacy for the boy to reveal the problem. Following him a few meters down the hall, Jim finally spoke, "Dean is something wrong, Son?"

The twelve-year old paused, looking around nervously as Jim watched him unzip his coat pocket. The object the young boy pulled from it was the last thing the older man expected to see, "I found this when Caleb stood up while we were inside the chapel." Jim reached for the black handgun that appeared so large in the smaller boy's hand. As he took it from Dean he noted the boy's hand was shaking.

Checking it quickly to make sure the safety was on; the older man quickly placed the weapon in his own pocket before looking back at Dean. "Son, what do you mean you found it when Caleb stood up?" The knot in Jim's stomach tightened as he feared what he believed Dean was trying to tell him.

"It…I don't think it fell out of his holster." Dean looked scared, nervous and lost, he was quite old enough to understand what he was trying to tell Jim, "It was like he had taken it out and laid it beside him, Pastor Jim, he locked himself in the Chapel. Do you think…?"

The fear rolling off Dean nearly took the older man's breath, Jim hated to think of what Caleb could have done if Dean hadn't found him, but for Dean to have found the gun and for the small boy to have put what it all could have meant together, it broke Jim's heart. Reaching across the small distance between them, Jim pulled Dean to him. "I don't know, Son, you have to understand that Caleb was scared, he thought his father had just died, he thought he was seeing his vision come true. The one thing he fears the most is losing someone else that he cares about, that he loves and he thought he had just witnessed that again. I don't know what Caleb was thinking, if he even was thinking, but you need to understand that you are the one who got through that haze of fear and grief he was feeling. You knew where to look for him and how to get him to listen, you're the one that was trying to get him back to Mac and even though this happened, you helped get him out where he could get help." Jim felt the boy shake slightly as a quiet sob escaped the child as he realized what his best friend could have done.

After a few moments Dean pulled back from the Pastor, "Mac told me to find Caleb." Dean noticed the confused look on Jim's face, "In my dream, Mac was at the pond and he told me I needed to find Caleb. That's when I woke up and tried to get Dad to bring me back here, when he wouldn't I ran all the way. Something inside me told me I had to find Caleb as fast as I could, I guess now I know why." It still amazed Jim sometimes the insight the young boy had, an insight most adults didn't.

Placing a hand on the boy's shoulder Jim spoke, "I guess Mac knew you would be the only one who would know where to find Caleb and be the only one who could get through to him." Jim glanced at the boy as they headed back toward the waiting room, "How did you know to check the Chapel, I honestly don't know if I would have thought to look there."

Dean glanced at Jim as they continued to walk down the hall, "I promised Caleb that it would be our secret." Jim saw something in the boy's eyes that told him that Dean would not betray Caleb's trust on something that was obviously important that only the two boys shared.

"I understand, Son and thank you for finding Caleb." Deep in Jim's soul the Pastor knew that the boy beside him, who heeded a dream and went against his father, had saved them from possibly losing Caleb forever. As they returned to the waiting room the nurse came out to take them back to see Caleb.

------------------

John and Sammy approached the desk outside the ICU, "Can you tell me if Mackland Ames is still in surgery?" John was glad to see it was a nurse who had seen him earlier, so he wouldn't have to argue with someone to get the information.

It was a moment before she answered, double checking her files, "Dr. Ames is still in surgery, the doctor will come out and talk to you as soon as he can."

Reluctantly John stepped away from the counter, not fully knowing what had happened to Mac and worried about Caleb, the hunter led Sammy back to the familiar waiting area to await news on his friend.

-------------------

It took Caleb a few seconds to realize he wasn't at the hospital any longer; he was standing in the middle of a deserted road that seemed familiar. Looking around it dawned on him this was a road not to far from where his father lived in New York; however it was outside the city limits. Turning again facing the direction that would take him further from the hustle and bustle that was Manhattan, Caleb noticed someone standing on the side of the road about two hundred yards away. Slowly making his way closer to the person a familiar sensation swept across his mind, "Dad?"

Jogging to quickly cover the distance, he slowed as he watched his father turn toward him, the younger man's breath catching at how pale his father looked, "Dad?"

A slight smile crossed Mac's face as he turned to meet his son. "Caleb, what are you doing here?" through the smile Caleb could pick up on the concern and worry his presence was causing his father.

"I don't know. Where is 'here' exactly?" Caleb looked around again, trying to pull something from his surroundings.

The young man watched as Mac looked down the road a bit before he turned and looked back at him, "This is where my life changed forever." It was then that it finally dawned on Caleb; this was the stretch of road where his father had his accident almost fifteen years ago, the one that nearly killed him.

The next sounds to meet his ears were sirens, both men turned and looked down the road, several police cars, fire trucks and a couple of ambulances were a few hundred feet away. Caleb followed his father as Mac started toward the accident scene. As they approached the young psychic noted the firemen working to cut someone out of what he assumed was one of the vehicles, the damage done rendered the car nearly unrecognizable. "Sir, can you hear me? We're trying to get you out as quickly as possible, can you answer me?" Caleb could hear, what appeared to be a paramedic, yelling over the noise of the equipment being used to cut the car open.

It was an almost inhuman yell that had the EMT shouting and waving his hands at the firemen, "STOP! STOP!" An eerie silence settled over the wreck site as the machine was silenced, "Sir?" the young man was again leaning into the wreckage.

"God, make it stop." A pain-filled, raspy voice was heard whispering from the vehicle, "Please…" the voice made Caleb's blood run cold as he looked at his father standing beside him, the man having paled even more as the echo of his own words filled the air.

The medic started again, "Sir, we have to get you out, I know it hurts, but I promise it will be over soon." Caleb had come to stand beside the specter of the emergency worker and could barely make out the battered, bloodied and broken form of a younger version of his father. The way the man was trapped inside the wreck made Caleb wonder how Mac could have possibly survived the impact. He watched as the EMT nodded to the firemen who were watching, within seconds the ear-piercing noise of the cutting tools started again.


	12. Chapter 12

Vision  
Chapter 12  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: I want to thank LamiaJade for her reminder that I had an open story that people were still interested in. I want to apologize to everyone for my extremely long delay in posting this chapter. I let other projects side-track me without meaning to. I am hopeful that with this little kick in the behind, that I will now return to the realm of the Brotherhood and continue my story. I will try to post weekly, hopefully more as I attempt to complete this work. THANK YOU TO ALL! Who still have me on alert and who have reviewed and again to LamiaJade for reminding me- this chapter is dedicated to you, I hope it's worthy!_

Jim and Dean quietly made their way through the Emergency Department, following the nurse to a small, curtained off cubicle toward the back, away from the noise and activity of the closer units. "If you need anything please press the call button, we will be back to check on him in a little bit." the nurse said as she left the Pastor and small boy outside the pulled curtain.

Jim stepped through first, holding the curtain for Dean to enter. The older man watched as the pre-teen slowly made his way to his friend's side. Caleb had a nasal canal under his nose, a pulse-ox meter clipped to his finger, a heart monitor attached to his hospital gown covered chest and an IV taped to the back of his hand. His pale features seemed to stand out against his near jet-black hair and few days' worth of stubble. Jim approached the other side, laying his hand on the unconscious man's head, Caleb felt as much his son as he was Mackland's and it broke the Pastor's heart to see the young man before him looking so broken, only guessing as to what state his mind was in.

"Is he really okay?" Dean whispered out as he laid his hand on the bed next to Caleb's lax one, the smaller boy wanted to reach out and connect with his friend, to let Caleb know he was their, but he was almost afraid.

Jim blew out a deep breath as he studied the pale features, the dark purple under the younger man's eyes indicating the lack of sleep, the still pinched look of his forehead told of worry and fear obviously still filling the unconscious boy's mind. "Physically he should be fine with some rest. Emotionally…" Jim looked at Dean, he had never tried to downplay much with the boy before him, Dean was always able to pick-up on when he was being lied to, even without psychic abilities. "He has been trying to deal with so much since his vision; I don't really know what he is thinking. I just hope he remembers that you were able to get him to connect to Mackland before his collapse."

Dean looked from the Pastor back to the still form of his friend, covering the couple inches that separated his hand from Caleb's, closing his smaller fingers over the older man's hand Dean whispered, "I've got ya Damien and I'm not letting go."

----------------

Caleb returned to his spot next to his father, seeing the younger version trapped inside the vehicle shook the young man, "Dad, why are we here?"

For a few moments Mac was silent as he watched himself being cut from the wreckage that had once been his car. "This was the only time in my life I ever wanted to die." Mac's words froze Caleb's insides. The young man couldn't believe that the man who had raised him since he was twelve, who cared so much about other's, had ever wanted to die.

Seeing the concern in his son's eyes Mac continued, "I remember waking up in the wreckage; I never believed a person could endure that kind of pain. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe, all I wanted it to do was stop, I wanted to die."

Caleb again glanced at the accident scene then back to his father, "What about Cullen? Didn't you think what it would do to him if you did?" Mac's eyes shifted toward the ground as he turned and walked away from the crash site. "Dad?"

The noise seemed to vanish as the scene disappeared; Mac stopped and looked at Caleb. "Son, I was a totally different person before that, Cullen and I hadn't spoken in nearly a year." Mac could tell his Son was stunned by the revelation, Mac and his father spoke at least once a week now, and always had since Caleb had known them. "Caleb, I was arrogant, self-centered…I believed I was something special because I was Dr. Mackland Ames, one of the youngest, most gifted Neurosurgeons in the country. In that instant all that was taken away from me, I didn't think there was anything to live for and I just wanted the pain to stop."

"Then how…how did you survive? You've told me before that more times then not it's the will of the patient that can determine whether they live or die." Caleb was still trying to wrap his mind around the man his father said he use to be in comparison to the man the young psychic had known for nearly eight years.

"It was your grandfather." the scene around them changed to show a hospital room. Caleb could clearly recognize his grandfather, but the figure he was looking at in the bed was unrecognizable.

_"Mackland, you hold on Son, you fight this and come back to me…Ames men don't give up. I love you Son, please come back to me." _Caleb heard the broken words of the older man, and watched as he leaned over, kissing his battered and broken Son's forehead.

Mac's voice was heard again as the twenty-year old was unable to take his eyes off the image of his father, now comatose in the bed before him. "I could hear him…" Caleb looked quickly at Mac, "I was in a coma for nearly three months, but every once in a while I could hear him talking to me. It was only his voice that I ever heard. I thought I had friends, but none of them came. Cullen would sit for hours, talking to me, reading to me. It was the love he had for me, the love I could hear in his voice as he spoke that I latched onto. I knew my life would change, but I fought to get back to him and I did."

The room changed again to one Caleb recognized from Cullen's mansion, it was his father's room, the one his grandfather had told Caleb that had been fixed up for Mac to recuperate at home, once the doctor's had started talking to Cullen about long-term care for his comatose son. However this time instead of Mac lying unconscious in a hospital bed, he was sitting in a wheelchair, staring out a window, Cullen sitting in a chair next to him. "This is when I tried to explain to my father about the first psychic ability that became known to me, the telekinesis."

"But he accepted it, right?" Caleb still was trying to figure out why they seemed to be traveling through his father's past_._

"Yes, he did, without question. Your grandfather never once turned his back on me, it was then I started to understand unconditional love. I had been so full of myself in my youth and early in my career that I shut Cullen out because he didn't fit into my life, but when my accident happened he dropped everything to get to me and over those months his only focus was my recovery, he never once didn't believe I wouldn't come back 100%, he helped me believe it too. Even on my worst days, on days that I wanted to give up, on the days I thought I was going crazy because of these strange things my mind was able to do, he never doubted, not once."

Again the images around them changed to the pond at Jim's farm. "Dad, what's going on?" Caleb was getting scared; none of this was making much sense to him. He was getting a glimpse into his father's past, but he didn't know why.

Everything started to fade around him as the image of his father started to fade as well, "I don't know Caleb, but we'll figure it out." his father's voice faded.

"DAD!" The psychic yelled as the image of Mac vanished completely from sight.

_---------------_

John looked up when he heard the sound of the automatic doors opening, gently shaking Sammy, who had fallen asleep leaning against him, the hunter stood as a weary Dr. Wittmer approached. "Please, stay seated…Mr. Winchester right?"

John nodded as the doctor took a seat across from him, "How's Mac doing?"

Blowing out a deep-breath the doctor rubbed his tired eyes, "Dr. Ames made it through the second surgery. Do you know where his son is? I think I should talk with him as well." The doctor noticed a look of concern cross the younger man's face across from him, "Is something wrong?"

"Caleb's in the Emergency Room, I'm not exactly sure what happened but he collapsed downstairs, they're saying its exhaustion." John watched as the doctor looked at the floor, this wasn't the first time the doctor had heard of a family member of a patient in the ICU succumbing to the physically and emotionally exhausting experience of a loved one in grave condition.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Okay, I assume you know about the incident before Dr. Ames was rushed back into surgery?" John nodded as Dr. Wittmer continued, "That was caused by a drastic drop in his blood pressure caused by a bleeder that was missed."

The doctor watched a flash of anger cross John's face, "How the hell did you miss something like that? Do you have any idea what witnessing his father's heart stop did to Caleb, what it caused the rest of us?"

Unfortunately this type of anger was also something the doctor had seen many times, "I'm sorry, but as I stated before, the bullet bounced around, even though we took our time during the first surgery, there is always a chance of something being missed. Dr. Ames is back in recovery and will be moved back to the ICU within the next couple hours, we are closely monitoring his blood pressure and don't believe their will be another incident such as this, but that is something I can't guarantee. The nurse will come out and get you when he can be seen again, I'm sorry to hear about his son and hope everything works out. When he is able we will allow him to come back and see his father and I will be available to answer any questions."

John was angry, he was angry at the doctor for missing something, he was angry at the son of a bitch that had shot Mac, but mostly he was angry with himself for being such a selfish bastard that he did something that had gotten his friend, his brother shot. John cleared his throat as he watched the doctor stand, "Are his chances any better?"

Looking at the man and boy before him, the doctor wished he could give them better news, "I'm sorry, but I'm still thinking it's going to be a fifty-fifty chance, baring any more complications, I truly wish I had better news." the doctor turned and walked back toward the doors.


	13. Chapter 13

Vision  
Chapter 13  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Two hours had passed since Jim and Dean had been allowed to come back and sit with an unconscious Caleb. The nurses had been in once to check the younger man's vitals, giving the Pastor a sad smile they would exit with no additional news. The older man assumed that Mac was still in surgery since John hadn't come looking for them, Jim held on to the hope it meant that Mac was still alive as well.

Dean had been sitting quietly, his hand held fast to his best friend's as the young boy felt it important to keep physical contact with Caleb. The broken figure the twelve-year old had found huddled on the floor of the chapel had shaken the boy, he had never seen his friend so lost in despair and he prayed silently that he never would again.

The younger boy jumped as Caleb's heart monitor started to increase, his breathing starting to come out in short, sob-like gasps, his head turning side to side as tears slipped from closed eyes. "Caleb?" Dean's hand closed tighter over Caleb's as Jim got to his feet, coming around the bed, reaching for the call button to summon the nurse.

"Dad…going on?" the anguished cry from the unconscious man's lips had Dean looking quickly at Jim, fearful that maybe Caleb still thought Mac was dead.

"He's okay Caleb, he's in surgery, remember?" Dean started to talk close to the younger man's ear, laying his other hand on Caleb's shoulder, as the broken sobs continued.

"DAD!" Caleb's voice rose as his eyes shot open, looking wildly around the room. Feeling a presence close to him, his instinct to get away kicked in, as he started fighting the hold that he felt on his arm and hand.

Dean was unprepared for the rough shove his friend delivered and if it wasn't for Jim having come around to the other side of the bed to push the call button Dean would have ended up on the floor. Just as Caleb continued to struggle with the equipment attached to him the nurse entered the cubical, noticing the combative state the patient seemed to be lost in she turned, yelling down the corridor for assistance.

Jim quickly recovered from having to keep Dean on his feet as the nurse called for additional help made the Pastor realize that if he couldn't calm Caleb that the twenty-year old could possibly be put in restraints, "Please, just give me a minute with him." Jim stepped forward, looking at the nurse. Then without waiting for her to respond he quickly stepped back toward the bed, reaching for the younger man. "Caleb, it's Jim…Caleb listen to me…"

The young man's wild eyes didn't seem to focus on anything, so Jim reached up and grabbed Caleb's face, turning it so their eyes met, "Caleb, look at me!" Jim's hardly ever raised his voice, but the stern sound caused Dean to jump as he heard others approaching the curtained area.

Jim watched as gold, tear-filled eyes finally locked onto his pale blue ones, "Jim?" the scared sound of his name being whispered pulled at Jim's heart. As recognition finally sparked in Caleb's eyes, the dam of tears broke and the young man grabbed a hold of the Pastor's arms with bruising pressure as he leaned forward, burying his head against the older man's chest, his breath hitching as uncontrollable sobs overtook him.

Dean stared as he watched his best friend crumble against Jim's chest, tears escaping his own eyes as he felt lost in his ability to help his friend.

John followed the nurse who was leading him back to Mac, this would be the first time since watching his friend lose consciousness in the bar parking lot, that the younger hunter would be seeing his friend. He left Sammy at the nurses station since eight-year olds weren't allowed in the ICU, pausing as the dark-haired nurse stopped, "You have about ten minutes, if you have any questions let me know and I'll page the doctor." the young woman replied as she stepped back toward the desk across from Mac's cubicle.

John took a deep breath and walked through the curtain. "Shit…" was the only word to escape John's mouth as he looked upon the lax form of Mac laying in the bed before him. Slowly John made his way to the older man's side, he had never known Mac to be so still and quiet. There had only been a few times since John had met the Doctor that he had ever been hurt on a hunt and never more serious than what a few stitches couldn't fix, but the sight of the Scholar attached to more machines than the Knight cared to count twisted the knife that he felt had been in his own gut since the sound of the gun-shot echoed across the parking lot. "I'm so damn sorry Mac." John whispered out as he touched Mac's arm, the coolness not unnoticed. Clearing his throat he continued, "You hold on Mac, Caleb needs you…we all need you…I'm sorry."

Not being able to stand the evidence of his stupidity any longer, John gave Mac's arm a final squeeze, then turned leaving the room.

Jim looked up as a doctor and a male nurse rushed into the small area. Caleb had stopped struggling and now had a grip on the Pastor that the older man was reluctant to break, feeling that he was somehow grounding the young man. The heart monitor was still beeping rapidly, indicating the continued racing heartbeat of the patient, his breathing still coming in gasps which registered with the pulse-ox meter. Jim heard the doctor say something to the female nurse who quickly left the room, then the physician looked at the Pastor, "We need to get him calmed down, he's beginning to hyperventilate."

Jim reluctantly nodded as the nurse returned and injected something into the IV attached to Caleb. Whispering calming words the older man felt the moment the sedative took effect, the crushing grip that he was held with eased as Jim watched Caleb's heart rate start to slow, back to a more normal level. Slowly the Pastor eased the young man back down in the bed, with the help of the male nurse, the other nurse attaching a blood pressure cuff to Caleb's arm. Jim took a step back as the doctor rounded the bed to talk with him. "I think we are going to go ahead and admit Mr. Reaves for observation, I'm concerned with how he is reacting to the situation and until he can get some decent rest I believe he will continue to be disoriented upon waking up. Perhaps by the next time he wakes there will be some news on his father that will help, unfortunately we have seen this happen before, where family members have a difficult time when a loved one is in critical condition, the most we can do is allow them time to rest and monitor them so that the stress doesn't create a medical crisis of its own."

Jim ran his hand over his face as he looked back at the sleeping form in the bed, "I need to remain with him, as a child Caleb had a horrific experience in a hospital and has never done well since, it has always been his father that could calm him if he needed to be seen, it wouldn't do well for him to wake up alone."

The doctor nodded, "I understand, if you give us a little time we will get him moved upstairs, I'll inform the staff on the floor that you will be remaining with him."

"Thank you." Jim shook the doctor's hand as he and the two nurses left the cubical. It was then, once the medical staff had left, that the Pastor realized Dean was no longer in the room. Quickly stepping through the curtain Jim spotted the twelve-year old sitting on the floor, against the wall across from Caleb's bed. Making his way to the smaller boys side, Jim knelt. "Dean?"

Tear-filled, moss-green eyes looked up at the older man as Dean did something Jim had rarely seen the younger boy do. In one movement the twelve-year old came forward, wrapping his arms around Jim's neck, burying his face against the older man. Shocked at first the Guardian quickly recovered as he placed his arms around the small boy, feeling the minute shakes as the child tried desperately to control his emotions. In that moment Jim realized the far-reaching implications of the tragic events that were unfolding, the older man always knew the children, and yes Jim still saw Caleb as a child, within his unusual family were interconnected, the welfare of one always effected the others. Jim could only imagine how Dean was feeling, seeing his best friend in such an emotionally broken state, but knew at that moment the smaller boy needed comfort and reassurance that his friend would be all right, that hopefully they all would be all right.

"Jim!"

It was the almost panicked sound of John calling his name that had the older man looking up, feeling the boy in his arms attempt to straighten at the sound of his father's voice. Jim stood as John came jogging toward them, Sammy close behind, worry and fear clearly visible on his face. The Pastor hoped it wasn't caused by bad news about Mac.

_A/N: THANK YOU to everyone that is still with me on this story and for reviewing, I'm sorry again for the long time it took me to get back to this. I'm still hoping to post weekly and I have finally figured out how I am going to finish playing this out, I just need to get it written. again THANKS to all my supporters, you all have kicked my butt in gear now, hopefully it will be finished soon.--Montez_


	14. Chapter 14

Vision  
Chapter 14  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Caleb was disoriented, he didn't understand what was happening to him, but the place looming in front of him froze every fiber of his being, it was the Children's Psychiatric Hospital in New York. It had been eight years since Mac had led a terrified twelve-year old from the confines of the facility and he could not think of a reason why he would be back here again.

"I'm sorry for bringing you back to the place." Mac's voice had Caleb turning, surprised to see his father standing next to him, looking up at the fortress-like entrance.

Noticing how much worse his father looked than when he had seen him last, fading from sight at Jim's farm, Caleb could feel his insides churn, "Mac, what's going on, why are we here?" the younger man couldn't hide the quiver in his voice, the sub-conscious fear he held for the hospital slipping past his fragile barriers.

Mac looked at his son, "I need you to understand what you mean to me, how you coming into my life changed the way I viewed things, viewed others." Caleb wasn't sure what his father meant, he knew his father cared about him a great deal, loved him, what could coming back to this place possible show him.

Suddenly the scene changed and Caleb was watching Pastor Jim and Mac storming past a man in a white coat, a man Caleb vaguely remembered as being the so called 'doctor' who ran the hospital. The young psychic watched as this version of Mac grabbed the arm of an orderly and led the man to a closed door.

"I didn't know that my life would change yet again, once I had the orderly open that locked door." Mac spoke quietly.

They were now inside the room, Caleb noticed a younger version of himself strapped down on the hospital bed, his eyes barely open as they stared blankly at the ceiling. The younger man felt bile rise in his throat as he looked pleadingly toward his father, "Why am I seeing this?"

"I'm sorry, but you'll understand." Mac looked sadly toward his son as the noise of a key being turned in a lock had them both looking toward the door, the 'dream' version of Mac stepping boldly into the room, Jim close behind.

If Caleb hadn't been watching the past version of his father he would have missed the look that overtook the man's face, the slight loss of color as well as the flash of anger. He watched as Mac stepped next to his younger self, gently taking a hold of his wrist, then retrieving his ever present penlight, shining it in the still forms eyes. "What is he on?" The dangerously quiet tone of his father's question toward the orderly was not lost on Caleb, Mac was one of those people who the angrier they were the calmer their voice and at that moment Caleb new his father was walking an edge.

"When that orderly brought me your chart and I saw what they had given you…" Mac slowly walked from the room, Caleb following his father. "I felt an anger overtake me like I had never known. At first I just wanted to think it was because they didn't understand you and your gifts, but I quickly found myself wanting to protect you, at all cost. I didn't care who I had to take on, or what I had to do, I just knew I needed to take care of you."

Again the room changed to the darkened recesses of the hospitals basement, again the bile rose as Caleb heard his own phantom cries over the Latin being spoken by Daniel Elkins. The banging of the basement door and the blur of movement that slammed into the former Knight surprised Caleb as again, Mac's quiet voice spoke, "I never wanted to kill someone before…" for the second time the young psychic was shocked at his father's confession, "When I saw you on the floor, understood what Daniel was trying to do…I wanted to kill him for hurting you."

Caleb recalled some of what happened to him at the hand of Elkins, but never recalled Mac entering the dark space, only that the man was their when he awoke. "What stopped you?" Caleb looked at Mac, the older man's gaze meeting his.

"You."

"Me?…How?" Caleb couldn't recall what happened and didn't understand how he stopped Mac's assault on the older man.

"It was the silence that filled the basement once I knocked Daniel out…I turned and you were so still…in that instant I couldn't imagine my life if you weren't in it…when I reached for your neck and couldn't find a pulse and your chest was so still, I felt my life stop. I knew if I couldn't get you back that my own life was over." Sunlight overtook the darkness that had been the basement. They were now in Central Park, the sounds and smells of fall overtaking Caleb's senses.

Mac had walked over and taken a seat on a nearby bench, Caleb followed his father, "Dad, I don't understand, why did I have to see that? Your accident, then my…" Caleb didn't want to finish that comment, he had spent eight years trying to forget the memories of those three days, only grasping onto the fact it was those tragic and horrifying events that led Mac to him and him to Mac.

"Caleb, Son, have a seat, please." Mac watched as Caleb reluctantly sat down, fear flashing in the younger man's face.

"Dad, what's this about? You're scaring me." the younger man's voice broke slightly as he felt the cool hand of his father take his.

"Son, I'm fighting as hard as I can. I don't know if it will be enough and I needed you to understand something, to realize something." Mac noticed his son stiffen.

"No! You have to keep fighting, I can't…I won't do this without you…I can't lose someone else…I won't." Caleb attempted to stand, figuring if he could put some distance between himself and his father then he wouldn't have to hear what the younger man felt was his father telling him goodbye.

Mac's hold on his hand tightened, "Caleb, I will not willingly leave you." the stern edge to the older man's voice stopped the young psychics movement as he allowed Mac to pull him back to the bench. "Please, just let me try and explain." Taking a deep breath the Scholar began, "I didn't understand how my life would change after my accident. That's why I had wanted to die, I couldn't see a future for myself, but your grandfather believed I would have a future and his love is what made me fight to regain what I had lost, he believed in me even when I didn't. I never dreamed of what my recovery would bring, the abilities it brought. Once I met Jim and he introduced me to the Brotherhood, I became content with helping others, much as I did as a doctor, but where my medical skills worked with my patients, my psychic abilities helped to save people as well. Little did I know that these gifts would lead me to you."

Mac slowly reached up, cupping his son's cheek in his hand, "I never knew, never completely understood what it meant to place another person before myself, what it meant to have another person dependant on me. When I took you home with me from that hospital, I was terrified, I didn't know how to take care of another person, but as I watched you sleep that night, once I talked with your social worker and he explained how you seemed to be trusting me, when you had never trusted anyone else, I came to realize, even on that first night, that the beginnings of a relationship was starting. I found myself constantly worrying about you, fearful that I would mess up and you would be hurt because of it. Even through all the trials we went through together I came to understand what my father had tried to explain to me, it was love that saw us through." Mac felt tears fill his own eyes as he allowed his hand to drop, glancing across the park.

"It's the unconditional love that a parent holds for a child that causes them to worry ever single second that their child is out of their sight, no matter how old they get. Caleb…" Mac looked back at his son, "I am proud of you and the man you have become and I will always love you son…" Mac took in the tears falling from Caleb's eyes as he gently reached up, taking the younger man's face between his hands, "I want you to understand that I have tried my best to keep you safe, to give you a home where you felt wanted and loved, but you need to understand that I may not always be there, I will fight my hardest to stay with you, I do not want you to have to endure the loss of someone else, but sometimes it isn't our choice and I need you to promise me…promise me that you won't give up, that you will remember that you are the reason I fought, that I will always love you. Remember that there are others who love you as well and will be there to catch you, to protect you, to give you a safe place. As long as you remember that, I'll always be here, this was set in motion all those years ago, my accident, my abilities, meeting Jim, then finding you…we found each other for a reason and that was to save one another and you were meant to be saved, so promise me you won't give up and I will promise you I won't either."

Caleb took in the expression on his father's face, the young man had seen pride in his father's eyes before, but never had he realized that beneath that pride was a look that had been there from the beginning, it was the look of unconditional love. The look that told Caleb that no matter what, his father would always care about him, would always love him. It reminded him of the look he would see in Dean's eyes sometimes, when the younger boy would look to him to fix what was broken, it was a look Caleb remembered seeing first in the quiet five-year olds face when the small child realized he had a safe place to go to with Caleb, it was the complete faith the child placed in the then teenager to protect him, to keep him safe, to be there for him no matter what. The realization seemed to shake Caleb, humble him, that the two most important people in his life could possible love him as much as he love them and he knew he would do anything to protect that love, even if it meant letting go of one of them, "I promise Dad." Caleb choked out as he felt his father pull him close. Closing his eyes, Caleb held tight to his father's form until everything around him faded away.

A/N: Thanks again for those still with me, I'm slowly getting this story written the way my mind is playing it out, but I hope to keep posting weekly until I'm finished, sooner if I get it done. THANKS AGAIN!--Montez


	15. Chapter 15

Vision  
Chapter 15  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: I just want to take a moment and THANK everyone who read and reviewed chapter 14. I was really worried about how that chapter would play out, but the feedback I got was wonderful. I'm so glad what I wanted to get across was received so well. The renewed interest in my story and wonderful reviews since I started posting again have motivated me so much to complete this story. It's still a WIP but I will continue to try and post weekly until I have it completed. THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!--Montez_

"Jim!" John and Sammy had just rounded the corner in the emergency room leading to the curtained off area the nurse had directed them to when John asked about Caleb, to find Jim kneeling in front of his twelve-year old son with Dean's arms wrapped around the Pastor's neck, the boys face buried against the older man. The Knight felt his heart leap into his throat, what could possibly had caused his strong-willed son to cling so desperately to the Preacher.

Jim felt Dean stiffen at the sound of his father's voice, looking up Jim saw the elder Winchester jogging toward them down the hall, Sammy keeping pace behind his father. The Guardian quickly stood as he saw the fearful expression on John's face, as well as hearing the worried tone of his voice, "What's wrong, is something wrong with Caleb?" John asked, coming to a stop, noticing the broken look in his oldest son's eyes. Sammy, quickly sensing his brother's need for comfort, stepped up next to his big brother, leaning into him, Dean instinctively putting his arm around his little brother's shoulder.

Jim glanced at the curtained area, just seeing Caleb's dark head through the opening, "He woke up disoriented and combative."

The Pastor noticed John pale slightly as he too looked toward the curtain, "They didn't restrain him did they?" The enormous amount of guilt Winchester was already feeling increased at the thought of his protégé having to be restrained, something that absolutely terrified the younger man.

Jim shook his head, "No, I was finally able to get him focused on me, but they did have to sedate him. They are moving Caleb upstairs for observation." The Guardian watched as John ran his hand over his face, then through his disheveled hair. "I've informed the doctor that I need to stay with him, for when he wakes up, they are going to let the staff know, so once he has a room that is where I'll be. Is Mackland out of surgery?"

"He made it through the surgery, but the doctor hasn't increased his chances." John moved to lean against the wall, "I went back to see him…" If Jim hadn't been watching closely he would have missed the emotions that crossed John's face, devastation and fear the most noticeable, but they were quickly replaced with guilt. "God, Jim I've never seen anyone look like that and still be alive."

A small whimper from Sammy reminded the two men of the children standing near by. Jim reached over and ran his hand through the small boys hair, then gave Dean's shoulder a supportive pat, "We need to believe Mackland will pull through this, if…" Looking toward the curtained area he continued, "for nothing else then for Caleb's sake."

Silence filled the hallway a moment before John stepped forward, through the curtain, toward the young man he felt was like a son to him. Jim followed the younger man with Dean and Sammy coming to a stop just inside the curtain. "Ah, Junior…" John whispered, he had seen Caleb hurt before, the nature of a hunter, he had seen him sick before, but the Knight had never seen his protégé look as bad as the younger man did now, the paleness only punctuated by the three-day growth of jet-black stubble. Placing his hand on the younger man's arm John again whispered, "I'm so damn sorry Caleb."

Over the next two hours, John returned to the motel with Sammy, one look at his oldest and he knew that Dean would not leave the hospital until Caleb was awake and okay. Caleb's doctor returned to inform Jim that they finally had a room ready for the young man and that it would be about an hour before the staff would have Caleb settled enough for Jim and Dean to sit with him. The Pastor was barely able to get Dean to follow him upstairs to the ICU during that hour so they could check on Mackland.

As they approached the nurse's station outside the ICU, Dean's quiet voice spoke, "Can I see Mac?"

Jim looked into the clearly exhausted face of the twelve-year old, "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Son. They might not even allow you back."

Dean tried to stand a little taller, putting his shoulder's back, trying to appear older and hoping that Jim would see that, in some way, the young boy felt he needed to see Mac in order to help Caleb. The Pastor watched Dean, seeing a determination set into his face that said _'I need to see Mac'_. "I'll ask, but understand they may not allow you."

A slight nod from the adolescent told the older man he understood. Stepping up to the desk Jim spoke to the young woman he remembered from the day before. "Excuse me, would it be possible for Mackland's nephew to visit him with me?"

"I'm sorry, but thirteen is the youngest you can be to visit someone in the ICU." She replied. A flash of disappointment crossed Dean's face as he glanced at Jim. The nurse remembered watching the young boy in the waiting room the day before, how he comforted the younger child that had been there, then how he tried to care for Dr. Ames's son when the young man had arrived and learned about his father. Glancing around behind her, she looked at Jim, then leaned over the counter a little, closer to Dean, "How old are you?" she whispered.

"I'll be thirteen in January." Dean stood a little taller as he felt hope fill him.

The dark-haired woman gave him a small wink, "Close enough for me, but you must stay quiet and you are still only allowed ten minutes." Standing back up she noticed Jim smiling slightly at her.

"Thank you." He said quietly, receiving a nod as the nurse hit the button to buzz them through the ICU doors.

Once through Jim stopped and knelt down, looking into Dean's eyes. "Dean, I know you have seen your father hurt on hunts and even helped him when he needed it, but son, Mackland is in rough shape. He is hooked to several different machines, one of which is breathing for him. He is going to look a lot different than what you are use to seeing. I'm not trying to scare you, but remember how seeing his father affected Caleb, once you see him, if you need to step out do so and if you have any questions you can ask me, okay?"

Taking a deep-breath, willing himself to be strong, no matter what, Dean nodded, "Yes, Sir." Giving the young boy's shoulder a gentle squeeze Jim stood as they turned and slowly made their way toward the cubicle that held their friend.

The last image of the Scholar that Jim had was of the younger man being wheeled from the room toward surgery after watching the doctor's restart his stilled heart. So as they stepped into the room the Pastor's eye's immediately went to the heart monitor that showed the steady rhythm of the injured man's heartbeat. When the ventilator activated, artificially raising and lowering Mackland's chest, Jim felt Dean jump slightly as the child had unconsciously moved closer to the older man when they stepped into the room. "Dean?" Jim looked toward the boy.

Dean's eyes were focused on the prone figure lying in the bed before him. _'Jim was right', _Dean thought. He had never seen someone hooked up to so many machines and to think it was Mac, his friend, his best friends father, the man the young boy viewed as an Uncle. Without consciously thinking about it Dean started walking toward the injured man's bed, only stopping when he came to the side.

Jim watched, but stood silently as Dean took a shaky, deep-breath, trying to control his emotions. The young boy looked at the face of the man he had known since he was five-years old, a man who had stood toe-to-toe with his angry father when John would forget he had two young boys he should be worrying about instead of constantly dragging them cross-country on hunts. The twelve-year old noticed the tube down the Doctor's throat, forcing air into his lungs, the numerous electrodes that were attached to Mac's partially exposed chest, leading to the faintly-beeping heart monitor. Then his young eye's landed on the stark, white bandage that covered a portion of that same chest.

Many thoughts filled Dean's young mind, but none that he could focus on, he was trying desperately to grasp the fact that the man before him was still Mac, but it all seemed so unreal to the child. Finally looking down, Dean saw Mac's lax hand, an IV line taped to the back. Slowly the young boy moved his smaller hand until he had slid his under Mac's. Gently, Dean closed his fingers, as they barely made their way around the older man's hand, closing his eye's a minute the twelve-year old did something he hadn't done in a very long time, he prayed.

A/N#2: Okay I know children aren't usually allowed in to the ICU, but I wanted Dean to see Mac so I put an age limit on the rules-please excuse the creative licencing.


	16. Chapter 16

Vision  
Chapter 16  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: This a special surprise as a huge THANK YOU to all those who have hung with me through these months, even when it had seemed I had forgetten about this story, you guys reminded me that you were still interested, so this is a bonus 'second chapter' that I'm posting this weekend. (since I normally only post one a week) You guys are worth it! THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!--Montez_

Dean had been silent since he and Jim left the ICU where the young boy had gotten his first look at the injured Scholar. Jim had watched as he approached the bed and stared at Mackland, the Pastor then watched the child gently take the older man's hand. For the ten minutes they had been allowed the eldest Winchester son stood next to his best friend's father, holding the older man's hand trying to keep his emotions in check.

Jim wasn't sure what he was expecting from the twelve-year old, but he had expected some questions. The silence was reminiscent of the when the boy was first introduced to him, Dean had been a scared, silent four-year old when John had been put in contact with the Pastor and it hadn't been until Mackland and Caleb were introduced to the broken family that Dean finally started to emerge from his self-imposed silence and it had been the dark-haired hunter who's bed they were now seated beside that had brought the lost child back to his family.

_The Pastor remembered the first time he had heard Dean speak, it had been three-weeks since the Winchester's had come to his farm, for John to start learning about the things that really did hide in the dark. During those three-weeks, Jim watched Dean silently take care of his baby brother and barely allow his father out of his sight. It was during that third week that Mackland and Caleb had arrived at the farm, per Jim's request, because he was growing more and more concerned with the small child's behavior._

_Over a period of two days the Pastor watched while Mackland tried to pull the child from the closed off world that he had locked himself into. However, Jim also noticed how Caleb, then a thirteen year old who was still trying to get use to living with someone who cared about him after so many years of bouncing around the child care system, started watching the small child from a distance._

_On the third day after Mackland's and Caleb's arrival, Jim watched Caleb approach Dean as the child sat near the pond, watching his father cleaning the small arsenal the older man had started to collect, on the picnic table while his little brother slept in a nearby playpen the Pastor had borrowed from the church nursery. Silently Caleb sat beside the small boy, who seemed to ignore the presence of the teen, though from his spot across from John at the table, Jim could tell the child knew the older boy was there._

_Jim watched, but was unable to hear, when Caleb leaned over and whispered to the quiet boy. At first the smaller child made no response to what the teen was saying, but Jim could easily see the emotions passing over Caleb's face, they were of sadness and remembrance. The Pastor watched as Dean would barely nod his head as the older boy continued to talk to him. Finally, Jim watched Caleb show the five-year old his most prized possession, a worn and somewhat faded two of spades card, the deuce card his father had given him when the older boy was only six-years old, when Isaac Reaves had tried to explain to his young son that he would soon be a big brother. Sadly that day never came as the tragic murder-suicide stole Caleb's parents and future sibling._

_Suddenly the small boy stood up and wrapped his arms around the teen's neck, faint sobs filtering across the few yards that separated Dean from the picnic table. "I miss my mommy", was the next sound that escaped the child as Caleb rubbed the little boy's back, whispering to the broken child, while Dean continued to cry into the teen's shoulder. Jim looked at John, who'd had his back to his son at the time, and saw tears trailing down the younger man's face. _

_The Pastor then watched Dean approach the table, holding tightly to Caleb's hand. John quickly wiped his face and turned toward his approaching child. John glanced at the teen, then to his son, "Dean?" It had been months since John had heard his small son speak._

_Dean's little body shook slightly as he tried to contain his tears, he glanced up at Caleb, who gave him a reassuring nod, then Dean climbed up on the seat next to his father and wrapped his arms around John's neck, "I love you Daddy." Jim watched as Winchester's exterior broke and the larger man wrapped his arms around his son and cried, whispering "I love you too, Ace." Jim looked up at Caleb, who stood back a few steps, but stayed close enough in case the smaller child needed him, the Pastor noticing silent tears slipping from the teen's eyes. _

_However when the older boy's eyes met Jim's the Guardian saw a determination in them that he had never seen before. It told Jim that Caleb had taken it upon himself to watch over this small, broken child, a child that reminded Caleb so much of himself after his parents died. Caleb would be Dean's safety net whenever the small boy needed someone to talk to, someone to tell him what he was feeling was okay, someone to let the hurting boy know he was not alone. It was that day that Jim watched two kindred spirits meet and as the years passed, despite the eight year age difference, the two boys created a bond that nothing could shake._

It was that unbreakable bond that was tying Dean to his spot next to his best friends hospital bed, it was that bond that caused the twelve-year old to want to see Mackland, so he could see with his own eyes that his friends father was still alive and that knowledge would help the younger boy to help the older boy, no matter what.

Several more hours passed. Over that time Dean would doze off in the chair next to Caleb's bed, his hand always on the twenty-year olds arm. Occasionally Jim would go upstairs to the ICU to check on Mackland's status, which continued to be critical but stable, with no new complications presenting themselves. During one of those times that Jim was out of the room, Dean startled awake at movement under his hand.

A faint beeping sound and cool air just under his nose is what greeted Caleb as his slowly became aware of his surroundings. He could vividly remember being with his father in Central Park after seeing glimpses into, not only his past, but his father's as well. As he felt his father's arms encircle him while they sat on the bench Caleb felt a weight lift from his soul. His biggest fear was losing those closest to him, but through his father he had come to realize that, unlike all the other times in his life when those close to him died, this time Caleb had people who cared about him. But more importantly he had someone who would allow him to fall apart if the worst happened, someone who would be beside him to help pick up the pieces, to put him back together, someone who loved him unconditionally--Dean.

It was a slight pressure on his arm that caused him to move, then suddenly that pressure shifted to his hand as he felt a smaller hand take hold of his, another slight pressure was placed on his shoulder. Before the smaller boy even spoke, Caleb knew who was with him, "Deuce?"

"I'm right here, you're safe…" Dean's whispered assurance brought a feeling of relief to Caleb's exhausted mind. Feeling another gently squeeze on his hand, Caleb started to blink slowly as he heard the twelve-year old again, "Open your eye's for me man."

Finally opening his eye's it took Caleb a moment to focus on the white tiled ceiling before he turned his head to his right, looking into the scared and worried moss-green eyes of his best friend, "Hey." Caleb tried to smile to alleviate the concern in his best friend's eyes.

"Oh man…" Relief was clearly heard in the young boys voice, "You scared the shit out of me." Caleb watched as Dean fought the tears that were filling his tired eyes. "How are you feeling?"

A slight frown crossed Caleb's face, "I don't know." The honesty in those three words told Dean exactly how his friend was, terrified, worried, and tired. Dean knew he was the only person beside Mac that Caleb was ever completely honest with when it came to how he felt and vice-versa. "How's Dad?" Caleb whispered, almost afraid of the answer.

"What do you remember?" Dean ran the back of his hand over his eyes, not wanting to give Caleb the wrong impression that something was wrong with Mac, if he started crying from relief that his best friend was finally awake.

Bringing his hand to his eye's Caleb rubbed them, then pinched the bridge of his nose, "I remember his heart stopping…" the twenty-year old took a shuttering breath, trying to push the hopeless, helpless feeling of watching his father flat-line away. "…Then you found me and told me he was in surgery…I remember connecting with Mac again…then everything went blank." _'except the trip into the past with my father'_, but Caleb didn't want to freak his friend out with that news just yet.

Clearing his throat Dean spoke quietly, "You collapsed outside the Chapel after you made the connection, the doc said it was probably exhaustion and the fact you hadn't eaten in a couple days." The younger boy wasn't sure if he should mention how his friend woke up in the Emergency Room, disoriented and combative before Pastor Jim could get him to focus, the hurting man finally breaking down in the Pastor's arms until the doctor sedated him.

"Deuce…you still haven't told me how Dad is?" With the way Caleb felt, his mind feeling fuzzy, he wasn't sure if he should try to use his abilities to seek out his father, or to read his best friend's mind. The Psychic could only hope that since Dean looked more worried than devastated that Mac was at least still alive.

"He had to go back into surgery, something about missing something, Pastor Jim would know more. He's been going upstairs every few hours to check on Mac. The last time he was back down here he said that Mac was holding his own." Dean watched as Caleb took a deep-breath and closed his eyes.

Despite the fuzziness Caleb needed to make that connection, though the memory of the words his father had spoken on the bench filled his mind, he still wasn't going to let go of his father without a fight. Dean watched, knowing what his friend was doing, he had watched Caleb connect with someone before, but worry again filtered into the young boy's mind as he noticed the pinch of pain that made an appearance across Caleb's forehead.

The twelve-year old felt panic as the heart monitor started to increase, along with Caleb's breathing, "Damien?" Dean squeezed his friends hand, shaking his shoulder, "Caleb!"

The use of his name by his best friend pulled Caleb from his attempt to connect with Mac, Caleb quickly curled onto his side, his hands going to his head, the pain he felt shooting through his head nearly taking his breath, "Caleb!" Dean's panicked voice, then the sound of an unfamiliar female voice seemed to pull Caleb's attention as he tried to breath through the pain.

"Sir, can you hear me?" The feeling of someone trying to turn him back to his back caused his mind to instinctively react, the ingrained fear of being restrained cause him to push the offending hands away.

Dean watched the nurse try to get Caleb to answer, then watched as the woman placed her hands on his shoulder to attempt to get him to lay on his back so she could see what was wrong. But the young boy reacted quickly seeing a hint of panic cross Caleb's face, as the hunter's hands came up to push away the person holding onto to him, "No!" Caleb nearly growled out through the pain and panic.

The twelve-year old grabbed for his friends hands, yelling his name, "CALEB! LOOK AT ME!" Dean winced as Caleb took a hold of his wrists, the twelve-year old quickly looked at the nurse as she again stepped forward, "Don't!" Dean told her, surprisingly the woman stopped, looking at the smaller boy. Turning his attention back to his friend Dean saw him close his eyes, taking a deep-breath. Pulling his arms free when the grip relaxed, the young boy reached his hands up, taking the sides of Caleb's face, like he had seen Pastor Jim do in the emergency room, channeling his best John Winchester voice Dean spoke, "Caleb, look at me!"

Finally golden-eyes met moss-green ones, "You're okay man, just breath…" Dean took a deep-breath, Caleb soon mimicked as the pain and confusion in Caleb's face started to fade, exhaustion again taking it's place. "That's it, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. I need you to breath."

The heart monitor started to slow, as the young man's breathing calmed. The nurse watched, almost dumbstruck at how the small child had been able to calm her patient. She cautiously stepped forward, "Mr. Reaves, I'm just going to check your vitals okay?" The woman watched Caleb glance at her, only giving a subtle nod before he refocused on the small boy, slowly she started her evaluation.

Dean keep his focus on Caleb while the nurse checked his blood pressure, temperature and listened to his chest, "You doing okay?" Dean whispered.

"Sorry Deuce…" Caleb said quietly, his eye's becoming heavy as the adrenaline rush he just had quickly faded.

"It's okay, did you find him?" Dean whispered again as the nurse wrote in Caleb's chart a few feet away.

"Yeah…he's still here…" Caleb tried to give a tired smile, his eye's drooping.

"You go back to sleep Damien, I'll be right here, okay?" Dean watched Caleb take another deep-breath, his eye's drifting closed.

Removing his hand's from his friends face, Dean placed one back on Caleb's arm, looking up at the nurse, as she gave him a reassuring nod. Just then the door to the room opened and Pastor Jim walked in.


	17. Chapter 17

Vision  
Chapter 17  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: I wanted to again thank everyone who has kept up with me and this story, you are all my encouragement. I'm currently working on the final chapters, (yes there is an end in sight). Again its because of your support that I've been able to do this. I also want to take a second and mention that I've borrowed some background from a couple other writers and forgot to thank them(Sorry guys, please don't hate me) Williamson Scott and Sensue are the two that are some of my porminante background info writers and of course there is Ridley's and Tidia's influence throughout. If it weren't for them the Brotherhood wouldn't exist. If I have forgotten anyone I'm truely sorry, I read so many of these stories myself and things stick with me-every Brotherhood writer I've read have been amazing, I feel honored that you guys allow me into you club, THANK YOU! On with the story---Montez_

As Jim pushed the door to Caleb's room open, what greeted him wasn't what he had expected. Dean's worried, disheveled look concerned Jim, but when the nurse approached him he saw apprehension in her face. "Is everything all right?" Jim asked, again glancing toward Dean and Caleb.

"I'm not sure what happened, I've paged the doctor go over Mr. Reaves chart. A few moments ago his heart rate and breathing rhythm increased. When I came in he appeared to be in pain, but when I tried to help him he attempted to fight me." The young woman noticed the worry in Jim's face as she continued. "However," she glanced toward Dean, "the boy was able to calm Mr. Reaves. As of right now, he is sleeping again and his vitals have come back within normal ranges, but as I said I have had the doctor paged, he should be here soon."

Not really sure what to say until he talked with Dean to find out what happened, Jim gave the young woman a tired smile, "Thank you." Nodding, the Nurse left the room. Jim slowly made his way to the chair Dean had reclaimed, the young boys hand, again on Caleb's arm. Looking at the sleeping man Jim could see a hint of pain in his still pinched forehead, turning slightly he knelt down in front of Dean. "Dean, what happened?"

The obviously tired and scared twelve-year old looked at the Pastor, his young eyes still filled with unshed tears. "Damien woke up…at first he was okay, asking about Mac. I told him what you said, then he closed his eyes like he was trying to connect with Mac, but…" a lone tear slid down Dean's face as he looked back toward his sleeping friend, "I don't know what happened, his breathing got fast, so did his heart rate, when I called his name he seemed to come out of it, but then curled on his side holding his head."

Jim looked at Caleb, Mac had told the Pastor that if the young hunter was hurt or sick it messed with his abilities and there had been instances when Caleb would try to us them during those times but only resulted in giving himself a headache so intense he would almost pass out from the pain. Looking back toward the small boy the Pastor spoke again, "The nurse said Caleb fought her?"

Nodding his head Dean answered, "When she tried to turn him back over, but I remembered what you did downstairs and I was able to get him to focus on me, that helped him calm down so she could check him over. Is he okay?" Jim was proud of Dean, though he knew the boy was scared to death, he was able to keep himself calm enough to calm down a hurting, confused Caleb.

"The nurse said the doctor is on his way to double check, but everything seemed to return to normal, with your help." Jim watched as relief passed over the boys face.

The Guardian then stood, again looking at the young man in the bed, Dean's quiet voice drew his attention back to the pre-teen. "He knew it was me before he opened his eyes."

Jim knew the boys could sense each other's presences before the other would appear, it was part of the connection the older man had seen grow between them over the years, "Who else would he have expected?" Dean didn't answer, just giving the Pastor a sad smile as his attention returned to his friend. The young boy thought about that and realized that anytime he had been hurt or sick, nearly every time he had ever woken up from a fevered daze, other than his little brother always at his side, the one other person he could always count on to be there was Caleb. As Jim went to the chair on the other side of the bed, waiting for the doctor, Dean felt his eyes become heavy as silence filled the room, his hand never leaving Caleb's arm.

Over the next few hours, Dean slept, his hand still on Caleb's arm. The doctor came in and looked over the chart, telling Jim that it appeared that upon waking from the sedative, Caleb could have had a bad reaction, though Jim knew it was more than likely Caleb's attempt to us his abilities that caused the problem. However, according to the doctor now that the medication had worked through his system and that the young man appeared to be sleeping on his own, once he woke up again, he should be more coherent. The doctor hoped that if everything stayed on course that Caleb would technically be released by the next afternoon, but the physician knew his patient wouldn't be leaving the hospital until the twenty-year olds father did.

Jim found himself dozing as the night went on, he had again checked on Mackland a couple hours before and found the Scholar was still holding his own with no signs of infection, Dr. Wittmer was hoping to upgrade his patients statue to serious but stable. The doctor also mentioned that since the critical thirty-six hour window had passed, Mac's chances of recovery were slowly increasing.

Nighttime in a hospital was always quiet, but Jim sat up suddenly, something waking him. Quickly he glanced at Dean, the twelve-year old still snoring softly in the chair next to the bed. Then the Pastor looked toward the sleeping hunter and found a golden gaze looking back at him. Standing the older man crossed the couple feet that separated him from the bed, taking Caleb's hand, Jim laying his other on the younger man's head, "Caleb?" Jim whispered, trying not to wake Dean.

A tired smile greeted the Pastor, "Hey…" Caleb whispered as he glanced toward Dean, then back to Jim, "Don't wake him up, he looks like he could use the sleep." The young hunter stifled his own yawn though he felt he had been sleeping for days, he still felt tired. "You look like you could use some sleep as well."

Smiling at Caleb's concern for others Jim spoke, "I'm fine, how are you feeling?"

"Tired…How's Dad?" Caleb watched for a change in Jim's expression, anything that would give away if the older man was trying to hide something from him.

"Mackland is doing better, his doctor was talking about upgrading his condition to serious instead of critical." The Pastor watched Caleb take a deep-breath.

"I think I really scared Deuce earlier." Caleb's eyes again traveled toward his friend.

"You gave us all quiet a scare, but Dean has been extremely worried about you." Jim said quietly.

"I didn't mean to, I just…" Moving his hand from Jim's hold, Caleb brought it up and rubbed his eyes, then ran his hand through his hair. "All I could think of was that if something happened to Mac I didn't…" Tears filled the younger man's eyes as he couldn't complete what he was going to say. Looking back at Jim, Caleb knew what he was thinking. It was something the young man knew his father and Jim talked about and worried about when it came to Caleb's issues with loss.

There had only been two times in Caleb's life he had ever wanted to die, the first being when his last set of foster parents repeated the murder-suicide of his parents, he'd had a vision of the tragedy, but at the time had no idea that is what was happening to him, Caleb felt he had somehow caused the deaths of the couple. It was that first incident, when a terrified twelve-year old Caleb had gotten a gun away from a police officer inside a precinct and placed it to his head, only being saved by his quick moving caseworker who pulled the gun away as the boy pulled the trigger, that landed the traumatized boy in the Psychiatric Hospital where Mac and Jim had found him.

The second time was only a fleeting moment, it was on the first anniversary of his parents death after he had come to live with Mac. The then thirteen-year old was still getting use to someone being in his life that gave a damn about him and with all the new emotions of getting use to being wanted, mixing with the heart-wrenching emotions that plagued him every year on the anniversary date, Caleb found himself standing on a bridge overlooking a rushing river below. That time had also been the only time he had physically fought his newly adopted father.

When the teen finally returned home hours past his normal time and the older man had demanded to know where Caleb had been that day, having been informed by his school he had skipped again. Caleb started shouting hurtful words at the man, finally fighting him when Mac took a hold of his arm when he attempted to leave the room. Mac was able to pull from his son's panicked mind what the young boy had thought of doing. That was one of those nights, as Caleb collapsed in his father's strong, but comforting grip, that the young boy felt the unconditional love that Mac had tried to explain to him in the visions or dreams that Caleb had experienced.

Jim's quiet voice brought Caleb from his thoughts, "You're not alone in this, you have others who care about you now."

Caleb opened his eyes, tears escaping his attempts to control them, "I know that now…" The young man's eyes looking toward the still sleeping form of his best friend, his brother, "Dad explained it to me." he whispered.

Jim looked at him puzzled, "What do you mean?"

Running his hand roughly over his face he looked back at Jim, "Nothing…" Caleb wasn't sure if he wanted to share what happened with anyone except his father. "I think I'm gonna try and get some more sleep, I want to see Dad in the morning." Caleb felt sleep calling again, peace filling him as Jim reminded him of what his father had said, that he had other's in his life that cared about him and no matter what happened they would be there for him.

"I think that's a good idea, we'll be here if you need us, Son." Jim gave the young man's shoulder a comforting pat as Caleb's eyes closed, his breathing evening out. Jim returned to his seat, contemplating what he had heard the young hunter whisper, knowing there was a connection between Mackland and Caleb that he didn't understand. However, Jim knew if there was a way for Mackland to help his son through what was happening then the older man would do just that.


	18. Chapter 18

Vision  
Chapter 18  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

The morning light started to filter through the closed hospital blinds as Dean began to stir, the click of the rooms door closing making him sit up straighter, glancing toward his friend. It was the concerned gaze of his best friend that greeted him, "Hey…" Dean said, feeling a small smile cross his face.

"You look like shit Deuce." Caleb grinned, the younger boy rolling his eyes.

"You won't be winning any contest yourself man." Dean's smile increased as relief filled him when the normal banter between the friends made an appearance.

Standing, Dean stretched, then looked around the room, "Where's Pastor Jim?"

"Said he was going to check on Mac for me. Doc is suppose to be in shortly, hopefully I'll get out of here so I can go see Dad." Caleb's expression changed to worry and a little sadness as he thought of his father.

Dean watched silently for a moment, his friend still looked incredibly pale. The boy hoped that they would at least make Caleb eat something before they discharged him, then Dean decided that he would take it upon himself to makes sure the twenty-year old ate regularly. "How are you feeling?"

Caleb looked at Dean, he could tell the young boy was watching him closely to see if he would lie to him and say he was fine. The psychic had learned long ago that even though Dean didn't possess any psychic abilities himself the twelve-year old was very good at reading people, knowing when someone was hiding something or he was being lied to. "I'm still a little tired, but my mind isn't as fuzzy."

The hunter watched Dean become slightly unsteady, sitting hard back into the chair he'd just rose from, his hand's coming to cradle his head. Quickly moving himself to the side of the bed, Caleb placed his hand on the smaller boys back, feeling a minute shiver go through his body, "Deuce?" When the boy didn't look up right away, overwhelming concern gripped Caleb. "Deuce, look at me, what's wrong?"

Slowly tear-filled eye's looked up to meet golden ones, "You scared me." Caleb knew those three whispered words were the hardest for Dean to admit. The boy wouldn't admit to anything scaring him and since the kid had started hunting with his father two years ago Dean had already seen things that would terrify grown men.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean…" Before Caleb could complete the sentence Dean was up, pacing along the side of the bed.

"Do you know Mac told me to find you?" noticing the confused look on his friend's face Dean continued. "We were at the hotel, he came to me in a dream and told me to find you, when Dad wouldn't bring me back here I ran away and made it back in time to see Jim coming out of the ICU. He told me you took off after Mac's heart stopped." Dean gestured with his hands, his fear of what happened causing his voice to rise, "I started looking for you, I finally found you locked inside the Chapel, I had to pick the lock to get in. When I saw you I didn't know what to do, I had never seen you like that. All I could think of was the you needed to know Mac was still alive."

Tears were coming down the young boys face as he continued walking and talking, "When you finally connected with Mac and got up off the floor, do you know what I found?" Caleb was watching his friend, Dean never talked a lot, but the twenty-year old was starting to realize that what happened effected the boy more than he knew. At the puzzled look the boy continued, "Your gun." The psychic was surprised at the answer, Caleb honestly didn't even remember having the weapon on him. "It was on the ground right beside where you were sitting. What the hell were you thinking? I know you were scared and had just thought the worst thing in the world had just happened, but what about me? Did you ever think once about how it would effect me if you checked out?" Dean's breathing was coming fast, his tears flowing freely, not caring if his friend made fun of him for crying or not. "You're my best friend, my big brother, How…?" Stopping a second Dean tried to take a deep breath, "Then to watch you collapse in the hall, trying to keep you from falling, I didn't know what was happening to you, I thought you were…" Dean couldn't finish what he was about to say, his emotions were getting the better of the normally well composed twelve-year old, but Caleb clearly 'heard' the sentence complete in Dean's mind, _'going to die.'_

Caleb found himself standing, crossing the few feet that separated him from his little brother. The younger boy completely consumed by his emotions, his fears. Without hesitation Caleb wrapped his arms around the shaking child, holding him tight as he felt the boy latch onto the hospital gown the nurses had placed on him in the emergency room. Laying his cheek on the small boys head, the older boy whispered, "I'm sorry, Deuce…I wasn't thinking, all I could think about was that I had just lost Mac, I didn't think about anything or anyone else. God I am so damn sorry that you had to see that." Tears were falling from Caleb's eyes as well, slowly slipping into the short-blond hair of his best friend.

A few moments passed as each boy drew comfort from the other. Dean, finally calming some, cleared his throat, then looked up at Caleb, "Promise you won't do that to me, I can't lose anyone else either, especially not you."

Caleb felt his breath hitch as he looked into the child's moss-green eyes, the same moss-green eyes that looked at him seven years ago with complete trust and unconditional love that the then five-year old Dean looked at him with. It was that love that his father was trying to get him to understand, that now, looking at his best friend, he understood. There was so much more at stack now in Caleb's life, that if something happened to him it would affect other. It was at that moment, like on the bench with his father in his vision/dream, looking into the face of the little boy who was Caleb's safe place, the one place, the one person besides his father he could completely let his guard down with, that the twenty-year old knew if he did lose his father, he had his brother to help him through it. "I promise." Caleb whispered.

A moment passed before the door to the room opened, Caleb's doctor, followed by Pastor Jim, walking in. "Ah Mr. Reaves, I see you are up. How are you feeling this morning?" The physician didn't seem to notice the emotions in the room, but Jim did.

Quickly the older man made his way toward the boys, the doctor busy reviewing Caleb's chart, "Is everything all right?" Jim spoke softly, coming to a stop next to 'his boys', noticing the tear tracks on Caleb's face as well as the still filled eyes of Dean.

Clearing his throat Caleb spoke first, "Yeah, it is now, right Deuce?" The two separated but the young man kept a comforting hand on his best friends shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, Dean attempted to wipe away the evidence of his tears, knowing full well that Jim didn't miss much. Giving the older man a hint of a smile, the young boy looked back toward Caleb, "Everything's good now. How's Mac?"

Jim looked between the two, knowing something occurred, but whatever it was both boys seemed to have an underlying sense of peace between them now. "Mackland is doing a little better, Dr. Wittmer upgraded his condition from critical to serious and his chances for recovery are slowly improving." The Pastor saw relief cross Caleb's face. "Now how about we get you checked out so you can see your father?" Jim steered Caleb back toward the bed.

As the twenty-year old sat the doctor approached him, "Mr. Reaves…" the doctor was interrupted by the young man.

"Call me Caleb."

Looking up from the chart the physician smiled, "Okay, Caleb, you may not remember me, I'm Dr. Howard. You have been under my care since you were admitted early yesterday morning. It appears you were suffering from an extreme case of exhaustion, brought on by the trauma of what was going on with your father and not eating."

The doctor watched as concern for his father crossed Caleb's face, "When can I see my Dad?"

"I know you want to see your father so if you will let me do a quick check-up on you, then I must insist that you eat something, I believe I'll be able to release you within the next two hours." The doctor looked over the young man, taking his blood pressure along with all his vital stats, then made notes in his chart. "Everything looks good, breakfast will be around shortly, once you have eaten I will feel better about releasing you, though I know you won't be leaving the hospital I will recommend that you take time to rest and to eat. I don't want a repeat visit from you for this." Dr. Howard watched Caleb rub his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Are you okay?"

Caleb looked up, his eye's meeting the doctors, then finding those of his friend, who was watching him closely, "Yeah, I just need to see Mac."

The doctor nodded, "I understand, as soon as you have eaten I will sign the papers." Looking toward Jim Dr. Howard commented, "He needs to eat regularly and he should rest."

Jim watched Dean step up next to Caleb, the older man knowing that Dean would make sure Caleb rested and ate. What he had seen when he entered the room told him that Caleb wouldn't put Dean through what happened again. "I don't think that will be a problem."

"Okay then…" The doctor nodded before heading toward the door, "I'll have the nurses get you something to eat, then have you on your way."

"Thank you doctor." Jim said, shaking the man's hand.

"Yeah, thanks doc." Caleb repeated, watching the door close.

Caleb stood and walked toward his bag that was on the couch in the room. He didn't even remember bringing into the hospital, assuming Jim had gotten it from his Jeep that Moose had driven them to Louisville in. Digging through it he found a tee-shirt, pulling the hospital gown off, tossing it at the foot of the bed he pulled the shirt over his head, a little surprised he was still in his jeans. Just then the nurse came in carrying a tray, sitting it on the small rolling table she smiled and left the room. Walking over to it, Caleb lifted the lid, curling his nose at what were suppose to be scrambled eggs and two pieces of extremely dry looking toast. "You've got to be kidding."

Dean walked up beside him, looking from the plate them back to his friend. "That looks like Dad's cooking." Caleb grinned at the running joke within their unconventional family at John's lack of culinary skills.

Looking up at Jim, Caleb's voice almost pleaded, "I really have to eat this?"

Nodding the older man approached, "Eat that now and I'll bring you something back later."

Giving the items another disgusted look the young man picked up the fork, poking at the yellow substance. It was the quiet, almost whispered words of the boy beside him that propelled the twenty-year old to finally take a bite, "You promised."


	19. Chapter 19

Vision  
Chapter 19  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Forty-eight hours doesn't seem very long when you're talking about a weekend or two days off work, but when you are sitting next to the bedside of a loved one, waiting for them to wake-up, consciously aware of how quickly they could be taken from you, it's an eternity.

It had been two days since Caleb was released by his doctor and had returned to the ICU to see his dad. During that time Mac's doctor had meet with the young man, informing him that his father's chances were slowly improving the longer they went without any new complication. On the evening of the first night Dr. Wittmer had informed Caleb that he was having Mac's ventilator adjusted to only activate when the older man's oxygen levels dropped below normal.

During each of his visits throughout the night the nurses would inform Caleb how often the machine would activate. Over the course of the first night that the psychic was able to see his father the machine only activated a few times, by morning it wasn't needed at all, Mac had been breathing on is own for several hours by the time his doctor made the rounds, so he ordered the removal of the device.

Over those hours Caleb had convinced Jim to take Dean back to the hotel so they both could get some sleep. Dean had been reluctant, "I can sleep in the waiting room." The younger boy, clearly exhausted, gave his friend a hard glare.

Even without using his abilities Caleb could tell that Dean was afraid to leave Caleb alone, so the older man sat across from the boy, who was on the couch, refusing to leave, while Jim stood a few feet away. "Look Deuce, you need to rest, just like you expect me to. I promise between my times with Mac I'll try to sleep, plus…" Caleb glanced at Jim then back to his friend, "Jim promised me something better to eat than whatever that was they passed off for eggs this morning."

Dean was nothing if not determined, "What if dad won't let me come back? What if something happens again and I can't get here?" A barely noticed tremor in the younger boy's voice spoke of his real fear, the fear of something again happening with Caleb if Mac took a turn for the worse.

Looking into the thinly-veiled fear that was the boys expression, Caleb placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, lowering his voice so only the two could hear, "I promised didn't I? I won't do that to you, I'll be here." Then the older boy rose up, looking toward Jim, giving a hint of a smirk, "Plus, if Johnny won't let you come back, Jim can use the Guardian card on him and bring you back with him anyway."

Jim took that moment to step forward, "I'll speak with your father so that you can come back when I do." The Pastor knew that to keep Caleb from pushing himself again he would need Dean to remind the younger hunter that he was needed, since the boy was the only one who seemed to get through to Caleb.

Smiling at the older man, the Psychic looked back at his friend, "See Jim's got your back."

"You promise you'll sleep when we're gone?" Dean again needed the affirmation that his friend would take care of himself, even if he wasn't around.

"I promise." Caleb gave Dean's neck a squeeze as the both stood.

"We'll be back in a few hours with you something to eat, call if anything changes with Mackland." Jim said as Dean made his way to stand next to him.

"You know I will." Caleb replied as Jim nodded. However it was Dean the caught the young hunter off guard as he the smaller boy stepped toward him, wrapping his arms around the older boy's waist. Then just as quickly Dean let go, following the Pastor wordlessly toward the elevators.

Caleb had talked the doctor into letting him sit with is father a little longer than the normal ten minutes per hour, he was being allowed twenty to thirty minutes now. Once the ventilator was removed Caleb was able to get an unobstructed view of his father's face. Except for the unusual paleness his father appeared to be sleeping peacefully, at least if you looked past the stark-white bandage that the nurses came and changed regularly.

As the second morning dawned Dr. Wittmer met Caleb in the waiting room, "We've stopped the sedative we were giving your father, since we have removed the ventilator, I just wanted to let you know that as it works out of his system he may start to wake up. At first it will only be for a moment or two and he may not even remember those times, but as the day goes on I'm hopeful that he will become more coherent."

Caleb watched the doctor as the man told him his father may wake up today, "So since there haven't been any other problems he should make a complete recovery right?" The memory of his father flat-lining was playing in the back of his mind.

The doctor nodded, "I'm hopeful, I am very pleased with the progress your father has made to this point and believe once he has regained consciousness, and with some rest, Dr. Ames should be able to make a full recovery, but it will take some time."

Blowing out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, "Oh thank God." Caleb felt the vice that had been around his chest the last several days loosen some, knowing the feeling wouldn't completely go away until his Dad's eyes were open and the older man said for himself that he was okay.

Shortly after the doctor left the waiting room, Jim and Dean arrived. The younger boy carrying a fast food bag that Caleb assumed contained his breakfast. Over the last day the two had come back and forth between the hospital and hotel several times, John had yet to come back. Jim telling Caleb that the older man wasn't sure how Caleb would feel with him around at the moment and thought the boy needed to focus on taking care of himself and visiting Mac. Caleb had been fine with that, a part of him was still extremely pissed that it was Winchester's stupidity that had led to his father being shot in the first place.

Rubbing his face Caleb stood to greet the two, "Hey Deuce, what'd ya get me this time?" Jim handed the Psychic one of the two coffees' he was carrying as Dean passed Caleb the bag.

"Bacon, egg and cheese biscuit." The younger boys smiled, taking his seat next to his friend. Dean had made it a habit of sitting next to Caleb as the older boy ate.

Caleb, at first, was bugged by the fact that Dean would watch him eat, until he had eaten everything, but remembering how worked up the younger boy had gotten at what happened to him allowed Caleb to push those feelings aside. "Mmmm… my favorite." Pulling the item from the bag, the hunter took a big bite.

Jim watched silently as Caleb ate, then he spoke, "Have you talked with Mackland's doctor this morning?"

Leaning back on the couch, the young man took a drink of his coffee before answering. "He's cutting back on Dad's sedative; hopefully he'll wake up some time today. I'm gonna see if they'll let me stay back there, I don't want him waking up alone."

Once Caleb had eaten and Jim visited with Mac as the next time came around, Caleb asked one of the nurses to page Dr. Wittmer to see if he could be allowed to stay with his father until he woke up. Surprisingly the doctor allowed it, since the physician was thinking of moving Mac to a private room. So after Jim and Dean left, both promising to return later in the day with something else for Caleb to eat and to check on Mac's progress, Caleb made his way through the ICU doors, hopefully for the last time, praying that soon he would see his father awake.

His father had been moved to a private room, which allowed for Caleb to stay as long as he wanted, but also allowed Jim and Dean to visit when they came back later that day. Caleb was dozing when he heard the door open, sitting up straighter he watched his two friends enter. Dean stopped a few steps in; the young boy had last seen Mac when the man still had the ventilator helping him breathe and a paleness that nearly matched the white hospital sheets he was laying on. Jim laid a hand on the younger boy as Caleb stood, walking toward his best friend, "Deuce?"

Wordlessly handing the fast-food bag to his friend, Dean walked toward the bed, his eyes never leaving the doctor. Caleb exchanged a worried glance with Jim as they watched the young boy, "Jim?"

"Just give him a moment, he saw your father in the ICU, I think he just needs to take in that Mackland is really on the road to recovery now." Jim's quiet voice was barely a whisper, only heard by Caleb, who looked surprisingly at the Pastor.

"He was allowed in the ICU?" The younger man wasn't sure if he liked the idea that Dean had seen Mac at his worst, knowing that Dean felt the same way about family as he did.

"He insisted," Jim glanced at Caleb, before returning his attention to Dean, "He felt that if he saw what you saw it would help him to help you." Caleb didn't have a comeback for that, so he just watched as Dean reached his hand up and took Mac's.

Dean stared into the face of his 'Uncle', relieved to see the tube that had previously been down his throat was finally gone and that Mac was breathing on his own. He finally felt there was light at the end of the long, dark tunnel they had been traveling through over the last several days, a tunnel that had brought his family to their knees and had almost taken away two people the young boy cared about, that he loved.

At the ripe old age of twelve Dean was already as cynical as an old man who had seen too much to believe in anything, he didn't put much faith in what he couldn't see. But having seen what his family was going through and allowing himself to believe in the God that Pastor Jim preached about every Sunday, the young boy again sent up another silent prayer, thanking whoever was listening that his family would soon be whole again.

A/N: I am nearly finished with this story, I'm just taking a moment to again thank everyone who has stuck this out with me, the end is in sight, just a few rereads to do. I will probably post quicker now, just because I get excited when I'm nearly done and want you guys to finally get the finished product-wish me luck.-Montez


	20. Chapter 20

Vision  
Chapter 20  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Awareness returned slowly to the Doctor's normally fast mind, he tried desperately to recall what had caused him to feel so heavy, so tired. The last thing he remembered was following John Winchester as the younger man pulled his beloved Impala into one of the seediest bars the well-refined Psychic had ever seen. This had been his ritual for the last several years, per Jim's request after the Preacher had bailed out an extremely hung-over Winchester within a few months of meeting the hurting widower, however, that didn't help explain what happened to him.

Taking a deep-breath, feeling a slight pull in his chest, the older man soon recognized the all to familiar smell around him, listening he could hear the faint beeping sound that he would recognize anywhere. Slowly opening his eye's, allowing them to adjust to the dim light of the room, he first noticed the generic tiles of the ceiling. Then turning his head slowly to the right he took in a sight he never wanted to see, his beloved son sitting next to his hospital bed.

Mac had prayed from the day he took in the terrified, rebellious twelve-year old that Caleb wouldn't have to endure the loss of anyone close to him again. Though the prayer was futile, as the older man knew he would never be able to protect his son from such a loss, especially once the boy took an interest in hunting. However, the Doctor had tried his best to not allow himself to be placed in the position that Caleb would have to worry about him. But taking in the worry lines, that were clearly visible on the younger man's sleeping face, Mac could tell he had failed miserably in that department.

Feeling an overriding need to see his son's eyes open, to let the boy know that everything would be all right, Mac opened his mouth, his voice coming out in a harsh, pain-filled whisper, "Caleb?"

Caleb jolted awake, unsure what had waken him, taking a deep-breath, rubbing his hands over his face he glanced toward the bed, seeing the steel-grey eyes of his father looking back at him, "Dad?" Quickly standing the younger man took a hold of his father's hand, his other hand going to touch his father's head. Feeling a gentle squeeze on his fingers, Caleb let out a shuttered breath, tears filling his eyes as a smile broke out across his face.

Feeling his own heart clinch at seeing Caleb's eyes fill, Mac gripped his son's hand, again whispering, "Caleb…"

"Oh God…" The sob-like sound was all the younger man could whisper as a lone tear slipped from his eyes, Mac's own eyes filling, as the older man closed them in a blink. "Oh, thank God you're awake." Caleb choked as he leaned down and kissed his father's forehead, running his fingers through the older man's hair.

"You…okay?" The scratchy voice of his father asking if he was okay broke any resolve Caleb had been holding onto as more tears joined the first, lone escapee.

"I am now." Caleb said, as he again leaned down, eye's closed; touching his forehead to his fathers, taking in the fact his father was finally awake.

Another gentle squeeze on his hand pulled Caleb's attention back to Mac's face, "What…happened?" This time the whispered question propelled the younger man into motion as he removed his hands, reaching for the cup and pitcher of water that the nurse had brought in earlier. Quickly pouring the liquid, Caleb grabbed the straw, placing it in the cup, as he used one hand to lift his father's head, the other holding the cup close to the older man's mouth.

"Take a drink first; it'll help your throat." Caleb was delaying. His father's question again firing the anger he held toward John for what happened. In his rational mind he knew Winchester would never, consciously do anything to get those closest to him hurt, but he was still having a problem with his anger toward his mentor. Once his father took a drink, the younger man again saw the questioning look in the older man's eyes. Sitting the cup back on the table, Caleb retook his father's hand, "What do you remember?"

Closing his eyes, Mac tried to bring his free hand up to rub his face, wincing as he lifted his arm. Caleb's gentle, but firm touch stopped the motion, "Take it easy, you don't need to pull the incision."

With a shuttered breath Mac opened his eyes, looking into the worried gaze of his son. "I was…following John…" The instant Mac said his friend's name images came flashing back into his mind; sitting in the back of the bar, watching his friend down shot after shot. He remembered the pain on the younger man's face, knew what he was trying to drown in each glass he picked up. It had pained the Psychic that his friend couldn't find solace in his two young son's, the physical reminders of his beloved wife, but over the years Mac learned it wasn't John's way; anger, grief and pain had feed the man's view of the world since that November night a few short years ago.

Mac watched as John walked over to one of the four pool tables in the place, somehow astounded that with the amount his friend had drunk he was still able to win the first round. However, the Scholar had seen several men watching the game and John as he continued to pull drinks from the bottle he had carried from the bar. John would became very loud when drunk, the other men saw what they thought was an opportunity, taunting the younger man into an obscene bet that Mac knew if John didn't win, he couldn't cover. Normally John Winchester was one of the best pool players Mac had ever seen, even after a few drinks. But seeing the taunting continue throughout the game, Mac watching as John continue to drink, then noticing the anger flash across his friend's face when he missed an easy shot, the Doctor knew it was time to step in and stop the game.

Pulling a protesting, drunk Winchester from the bar was no easy task, but he got him to the car and that's when everything went to hell. Mac remembered the men following them out, he could see the want for a fight in the loud-mouthed leaders face. Knowing they were outnumbered and John wasn't up to his normal, ready self, the Doctor knew it was a fight that wouldn't end well for the Knight and Scholar. But it was the sound of a gun-shot that shocked the older man, he hadn't seen it coming. At first there was nothing, no noise, no pain, just the feeling that something had just gone terribly wrong. I wasn't until John reacted, pulling his own weapon that Mac's numb mind started to but everything together.

But it didn't fully register until Mac saw the absolute fear in his friends face when the younger man turned back toward him. John wasn't afraid of anything, but at that moment the man looked terrified. It was then it finally registered; it was then that the unimaginable pain flared in his chest. It was then his thoughts turned to his son and how what was happening would affect him. It was then that Dr. Mackland Ames realized he had been shot.

Caleb seemed to be able to see everything play out across his father's face as the older man's breathing and heart rate started to increase. Fear gripped the young Psychic again as his father clinched his eyes shut, his face contorting in pain as his breaths became more labored, "Dad… calm down!" When Mac didn't seem to respond to his son's voice the younger man took his father's face into his hands, the faint sound of the door opening behind him going unnoticed for the moment. Closing his own eyes Caleb concentrated on the connection the father and son shared, _'Dad, I need you to calm down, breathe with me…'_

Watching his father's eyes open, pain still clear, the young hunter saw and felt his father starting to calm, the older man's breathing slowly falling into pattern with his sons. "I got ya Dad, just breathe slowly." Caleb spoke aloud as the presence of the nurse across from him registered.

"What happened?" The young woman asked as she began to take the Doctor's vitals, the machines starting to show the calming of the patient.

"He woke up and I think he started to remember what happened." Caleb answered; his focus remaining on is father.

Nodding, the young woman returned her attention to her patient, "Dr. Ames, my name's Belinda, I going to check you over real quick, your doctor has been paged, do you understand?" Blinking past the tears, the pain finally starting to ease, Mac gave a subtle nod, his hand squeezing Caleb's as the younger man had reclaimed the physical connection. "On a scale of one to ten, can you tell me how your pain is at the moment?" The red-haired nurse continued her assessment as she awaited a response.

Taking another slow, deep breath Mac whispered, "Seven…" Caleb knew it had been much worse a few moments before.

"Okay, I'll let the doctor know, he may want to give you something to keep you comfortable, I'll be right back." Giving Caleb a reassuring smile, the young woman left the room.

Caleb's worried filled voice brought the older man's attention to his son, "Dad, you still with me?" A gentle squeeze accompanied the whispered question.

"Sorry…" The older hunter answered quietly.

"What are you sorry for, you didn't do anything?" Caleb was perplexed as to what his father was sorry for.

"Worrying you."

Caleb didn't get a chance to respond as Dr. Wittmer entered the room, followed by the nurse. "Dr. Ames, I see you're awake. I'm Dr. Wittmer; I understand you're in some pain?" The physician picked up his patient's chart, reviewing the nurse's notes.

"A little." Mac again whispered.

"I'll get you something for that; you'll be in some pain for a few days as your wound heals. The medication will make you sleepy, but you need to rest." Looking up at Caleb the doctor asked, "How long has he been awake?"

"About ten minutes. He was okay at first, then he started to remember what happened." Caleb answered, glancing at his father; again the older man's eyes were closed.

"Okay," Turning his attention back to Mac the doctor continued, "Dr. Ames…" Mac slowly opening his eyes, exhaustion clearly seen. "I'm going to give you something for the pain, other than the spike in your vitals a few moments ago; you seemed to be healing just fine. There hasn't been any infection and the incision is healing as expected. I want you to rest now, but later today I'm ordering another round of x-rays to check on everything and if all goes well, you should be out of here in a few days, but again, now you should rest." The nurse stepped up as Dr. Wittmer backed away.

Caleb reached across the bed, offering a hand to the doctor, "Thank you for everything."

"I'm just glad my patient is getting better, I was worried for a while." Shaking the younger man's hand, "You take care of your father."

Giving a hint of a smile Caleb responded, "You don't have to worry about that."

Stopping at the door the Doctor turned, "No, somehow I don't think I do." The nurse and doctor left the room as the pain medication slowly started to take effect.

"Caleb?" Mac spoke softly again.

"Right here Dad." Gently squeezing his father's hand again. "Everything's going to be okay, just rest."

Mac needed to ask his son one last question before he would allow the pain medication to claim him, "Is John okay?" Worry for his friend floated through his haze-filled mind.

Blowing out a deep-breath, trying to hide his frustration with Winchester, Caleb answered, "Johnny's fine Dad, you worry about you, rest now."

Nodding slowly, with the assurance that John hadn't been injured, as well as, the comforting presence of his son, Mac finally surrendered to the effects of the medication.


	21. Chapter 21

Vision  
Chapter 21  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: a bit of language in this chapter._

"Look, I know you're pissed at me, I know I fucked up, but I need to see him." John Winchester was standing in the hallway outside Mac's room. Jim, Dean and Sammy a few feet away as the older man tried to talk with Caleb.

Running his hand through his hair, Caleb glared at his mentor, "Fucked up? Is that what you call it?" Taking a few steps away from John before he repeated what had happened that first night, Caleb rounded on the Knight, "And you being a selfish bastard had nothing to do with it?" As the words left the young man's mouth he caught sight of the boys standing near Jim. Taking a deep-breath to try and calm himself, Caleb continued, his voice softening slightly, "You're not the only person around here who's ever lost someone they loved. Deuce and Sammy lost there mother too, I lost everyone, Jim lost Emma…" Caleb calmed more as he saw some of what he was saying click with John; honestly he was surprised that John hadn't jumped down his throat at the mention of Mary.

Taking a step closer he felt the need to continue, the message Mac tried to convey during the vision/dream, filling Caleb's mind as he wanted John to see what had taken Mac almost dying for Caleb to see, "I get you're not the touchy-feely type, trust me I know how your whole tough-love thing works, but you're not the only one it's affecting." Again looking toward Jim, then meeting the moss-green eyes of his best friend, behind the younger boys worry Caleb again could see the unconditional love the child had for him. "You don't have to go through this shit alone man, we know you hurt, I know you hurt, but the way you are dealing nearly cost me my Dad. But you know what is almost as scary? It could have cost Sammy and Deuce their dad as well."

It was that comment and the pleading look in his protégé's eyes that had John looking toward his son's. Dean's eyes were shiny, the older boy knowing exactly what could have happened if John had been alone or if the guys at the bar hadn't scattered when he pulled his weapon. Then John looked at Sammy, the eight-year old still so innocent in what his older brother allowed him to know, but the boy was scary-smart and too realized all that could have been lost.

Then John looked at Jim, his friend, his brother, who too had lost the love of his life, though through natural causes and not supernatural, it was a devastating loss none the less. If there was anyone who understood John's pain it would be Jim. Looking at his friend now he saw only understanding looking back at him, Jim didn't judge John for his pain, but his method of dealing with it, or lack there of. And though John had been beating himself up over what happened to Mac because of him, it was the look in Caleb's face as the older man turned and faced the youth that finally seemed to drive home what the twenty-year old was trying to say. This time accusation and blame were replaced with a pleading for understanding, understanding that he wasn't alone, that he had family that cared about him whether he wanted them to or not. That he had people around him that would catch him when he fell.

Silence settled over the group as the words the younger man had spoken sank in. The boy before him, no, John had correct himself, the man before him, that had absolutely no reason to forgive him, was offering John the preverbal olive branch, it was now up to him to accept it.

Watching the straightening of Winchester's shoulders, the fading of the worry lines that the older man had worn since that night six days ago, and a subtle nod told Caleb that John Winchester, ex-Marine, Knight of the Brotherhood, his mentor and friend understood what the younger man was trying to say, finally acknowledged that he was not alone.

After a moment Mac's door opened, Dr. Wittmer and a nurse walked out, the physician stopping to talk with the group. Caleb took a step forward, "Is everything okay?" It had bothered the young Psychic that he hadn't been allowed to stay in the room as the Doctor did a more complete check of his father, going over the x-rays that had been taken earlier in the day.

"Your father is still awake, all his vitals are looking good, there is still no indication of infection and his x-rays look good." The doctor saw relief pass over the faces of the small group before him. "He'll be tired for a few more days and be in pain for a while, but I believe with some physical therapy your father should completely recover from this. Just understand it will take a little time."

Glancing at his family as what the doctor was saying really sank in, seeing the relief on the other's faces, Caleb asked the most important question, "When can he go home?"

"I want to keep him another couple days, just so he can rest." Dr. Wittmer smiled, he, himself, relieved his patient was going to be leaving the hospital in a few day, especially when a few days ago the doctor wasn't sure the man would make it through the second surgery.

Extending his hand Caleb spoke, "Thank you for everything you've done for Mac, you have no idea how much I appreciate it."

Shaking hands the doctor responded, "It was just as much your father's will to fight as it was anything that I did, but thank you." Shaking hands with Jim and John the doctor finally headed down the hall toward the nurse's station.

Taking a deep-breath, allowing the peace that came with knowing his father would finally be leaving the hospital in a couple days; Caleb turned and looked at John. "Don't think that because I ventured into the whole chick-flick territory that I'm not still mad as hell at you, but you should go in for a bit. Mac asked if you were okay, but I think actually seeing you will help, plus…" The younger man glanced at Dean, "I think Deuce is trying to tell me that it's time to eat again, so we'll be in the cafeteria." John gave a hint of a smile, knowing no matter what position of authority the older man held over Caleb, if the younger hunter didn't want him to see Mac then John would not be getting in the door.

As John stepped toward the door, Caleb grabbed his arm, "Just don't upset him or I'll kick your ass."

Patting Caleb's hand, John nodded, "I understand and have no doubt you'd follow through…" a smirk crossed John's face, "Or at least try." It was a step in the right direction in repairing the trust the younger man had lost in Winchester when John was finally rewarded with one of Caleb's cocky smiles.

Turning his attention from John to the others Caleb mock-glared at Dean as he rubbed his forehead, "I got the message Deuce, I'm coming." John watched as his family started down the hallway, Caleb clipping Dean on the back of the head as Sammy took the distraction and slipped his small hand into Caleb's offering support the only way the eight-year old could, by just being there. Taking a deep-breath as he turned toward the door, trying to block out the last image he had of Mac, in the ICU, a machine breathing for him, John slowly pushed the door open, quietly entering.

Mac had his head back against the pillow, eye's closed when John walked into the room, hearing the door open, he turned his head toward the door, opening his eyes, "Hey."

John moved across the room, stopping at the foot of the bed, examining his friend. A hospital gown finally covering the bandage across Mac's chest, an IV was still attached to the older man, but just clear liquid flowed through the translucent tubing instead of the dark red that John remembered in the ICU. Mac's color was almost back to normal, though he looked tired. "Hey," John answered, not normally a man unsure of himself, he found himself not sure what to say to the man who by all accounts had taken a bullet for him, no doubt saving his life. Clearing his throat Winchester continued, "How ya feeling?"

Straightening himself up some, noticing the unnatural nervousness coming from the man before him, Mac attempted a smile, "Better, just a little sore, but they've got me on the good stuff." The Scholar saw guilt flash in his friends face. "Are you okay?" Mac raised his hand, motioning toward John's face.

A nervous laugh escaped John as his hand brushed over his face, moving around to take the chair that Caleb had undoubtedly placed next to the bed, "This? This is nothing, I'm fine." It was definitely something to John; it punctuated just how bad he had screwed up.

Not believing John, Mac narrowed his eyes slightly, "Did those guys from the bar do that, I don't remember much that happened after…"

A sad smile crossed John's face as he looked down at his clasped hands, "No it wasn't those guys, this…" John straightened up looking at Mac, "this was compliments of your son." The Knight noticed the shocked look that crossed the Doctor's face, "Don't you dare tell him I told you, but what he did that night, I deserved it and worse…" standing John walked toward the window before turning back to his best friend, his brother, "I'm so God damned sorry Mac, I fucked up and you got hurt because of it, you nearly died because of it. I don't even know how to begin to make it up to you, to Caleb."

Mac watched the emotions cross the younger man's face, the Scholar wanted to interrupt, to tell his friend it was okay, but he could tell John was working up to something and it was so rare for Winchester to acknowledge his feeling, let along speak about them, so Mac remained silent for the time being as John continued, "I barely remember anything that happened that night until I heard the gunshot, it didn't ever register for a second, those bastards scattered after I pulled my piece. It was then I realized you hadn't said anything…" Running his hand over his beard-covered face John walked back to the chair, "I knew something was terribly wrong before I ever saw the blood, the look…the look on your face, in all the years I've known you I've never seen such a confused, scared look coming from you. Then I noticed the blood," Palming his eye's as if to erase the image that would haunt him for years to come, John continued, "When your legs gave out, I thought you were going to die in the damn parking lot and it was all my fault."

"But I didn't." Mac finally spoke.

"You almost did, hell I was pissed at Jim when he told me he'd had you follow me, that you had been doing it for years and I didn't even know about it." Winchester's voice became quiet, "I don't know what I would have done if you had died because of my stupidity." John looked at the floor not sure what else to say.

"It wasn't just because Jim asked me to. You're my friend, you're the father of my son's best friend and as much as you think you can always handle anything that comes at you, you're not invincible, your emotions and I dare say your mouth have been known to overrun your good sense at times. I was there to protect my family, whether you wanted it or not." Mac watched John's face; the man was really struggling with what had happened, the pain it had caused. "You're not alone John, stop pretending you are and allow other's to care about you, you stubborn bastard."

John's head snapped up at the unnaturally crude language that came from the well-refined Doctor looking at him, "You sound like Junior, I pretty much got the same little speech from him." Sitting back in the chair, John finally released some of the tension he'd had pent up over the last several days.

"I'd like to think I had a little influence over my son the last several years. I see a lot of you come out in him, at least I know he's picked up something from me over that time as well." Mac smiled at his friend, telling the younger man that there weren't any hard feelings between them.

"Trust me Mac…" John rubbed his face where the bruise was slowly fading, "I got a taste of me from that kid, I'd take your influence any day. I never realized he could throw a punch like that. I hope I'm never on the receiving end of Junior's wrath again." They both chuckled at the statement.

After a moment worry crossed Mac's face as he thought about his son, "Is Caleb really doing okay?" The time Caleb had been in the room with his father, he seemed okay, other than the extreme worry that came with someone you cared about being in the hospital. However, Mac knew loss was one of those areas with his son that was always a guarded issue; it was one of the things that terrified the young man. Caleb had seen more than his far share of loss, had endured more in his twenty years than most people deal with in a life time and at times over the last seven years since Mac and his son had been together, it had proven to be something the boy had a very difficult time dealing with.

Not sure it was his place to tell Mac what happened with Caleb. Leaving the decision up to the younger man or possibly Jim, John answered the best he could, "He is now."

Mac saw that for what it was, something had happened, Mac could see it in Winchester's eyes. However, John was going to allow Caleb to talk with his father about it, which the Scholar knew may take some time, but his son would eventually tell him what happened.

_A/N#2: I know I may have had John a little out of character when he was talking with Mac, but I think with the guilt he had from initially being the cause for Mac getting shot in the first place, I think it's possible that John would have been a bit more emotional and unsure. Hope you are still enjoying- only two more chapters to go! Thanks again!-Montez_


	22. Chapter 22

Vision  
Chapter 22  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A week later at Pastor Jim Murphy's farm in New Haven, Kentucky._

"Yeah, he's doing a lot better, we're gonna be heading home in a day or two. I just wanted to thank you for getting me here in one piece man; I don't know how to make it up to you." Caleb paused in his walking around the kitchen and looked out the window toward the pond, where he could just make out his father. The young man was on the phone with his roommate from Auburn; Moose had dropped everything nearly two weeks ago to drive a very distraught Caleb to Louisville after Mac had been shot. "I talked to most of my professors, I'm taking the rest of the semester off, I just want to stick close to home a while, but that doesn't mean you can get a new roomy, I've just gotten use to putting up with you and your jock buddies." Caleb laughed at something his friend had said, "Thanks again man, I'll call you when we get to New York…see ya." Hanging the phone up, Caleb turned as Jim came into the room.

"Was that your friend Oliver?" Jim had been impressed with how protective the football player had been of Caleb in those first few hours after they had arrived at the hospital. It gave the Pastor some peace of mind that the young Psychic had people who could help watch out for him when he wasn't around his family.

"Yeah," Caleb walked over and got himself and Jim a cup of coffee, the Winchester's had left the day before, promising to head toward New York to check on Mac within the next couple weeks. As much as the younger man missed his best friend, as well as his mentor, Caleb was kind of glad that John was gone, just needing some space away from the older man to start to let go of the anger he still held toward him. "I was letting Moose know I wouldn't be back until next semester, and to thank him for getting me here in one piece."

Jim took a seat as Caleb leaned against the counter, again glancing out the window. Jim's quiet voice brought his attention to the older man, "You are very lucky to have people who care about you even when you're away from us."

Nodding his head as he took a drink, worry crossing the younger man's face, "Did you tell Dad what happened at the hospital?"

Jim studied Caleb, noticing the tired look that could still be seen in the twenty-year olds eyes. Neither Jim, nor Mac had missed the way Caleb was always checking on his father, always making sure he knew where the older man was. Mac had asked Jim if something had happened at the hospital, having known from John's answer to his question about his son, that something more than what happened to him was causing Caleb to act the way he was. "I did."

Clearing his throat, Caleb shifted his feet, "Did you tell him everything?" The psychic recalling what Dean had told him about when the young boy had found his broken friend inside the hospital Chapel.

"If you mean about Dean finding your gun beside you in the Chapel, no I didn't tell him that part. I was going to let you decide if you wanted him to know about it, but as far as your brief stay, your father has been informed of that. He's been worried about you." Jim watched guilt cross Caleb's face. The last thing Caleb wanted was for his father to be worrying about him while Mac, himself, was still recovering.

Taking a few steps Caleb sat across from Jim at the kitchen table, "The last thing I want is for him to worry about me, but something happened after my collapse…something that showed me I had more in my life to lose then I realized."

Jim nodded his head, almost as if he knew what had happened during the time the younger man was unconscious, "You need to talk to him."

Caleb stood, placing the chair back in its spot, smiling at the Pastor, "How is it you always seem to know what's going on, even if you don't know the whole story?"

Jim also stood, taking the two cups to the sink, giving his best 'knowing' smile the older man answered, "It's a gift".

They both chuckled as the psychic walked toward the door, "Thanks Jim."

"Anytime my boy, anytime."

Mac was sitting on one of the bench's that the Pastor had around the pond. He had been at the farm a few days; Caleb insisting that they stay at Jim's a while so the Doctor could rest some more before they flew home to New York. Seeing the poorly veiled exhaustion in his son's face, Mac agreed, knowing that Jim and John would help keep an eye on Caleb as well. However the older man noticed that is was Dean who followed his son around, making sure the twenty-year old ate and slept, but there was still something going on with his son and it was worrying Mac.

Jim had told the Scholar of his son's collapse at the hospital, it broke Mac's heart to think his son had witnessed his heart stopping. Mac had wanted so much to protect his son from loss, though knowing it would be impossible, the Doctor had always assumed he would be there to help his son through it, not be the cause of the pain. Though as a parent Mac knew one day he wouldn't be around, but he always hoped it would be many years down the road, after all Cullen, Mac's father, was still around, in good health and the man was pushing seventy. Mac's hope was that when the time came that he had to leave his son that the Caleb would have a better understanding that it wasn't his fault when those around him died.

Glancing up as he heard someone approach, he was pleased to see his son, though the boy was looking as tired as every, he'd wanted to talk to Caleb. The younger man placed his hand on his father's shoulder as he rounded the bench, taking a seat. "Hey Dad, how are you feeling?"

Patting his son's leg Mac smiled, "I'm doing better, each day is an improvement."

Caleb smiled, "I'll remind you of that next week when you start your physical therapy."

"You do that." They both laughed, then silence settled between them, both men looking across the pond. Caleb wasn't fond of water, but seeing his father at ease on its bank, helped calm the younger man's dislike. After a few moments Mac turned toward his son, "How are you doing?"

Leaning forward, putting his elbows on his knees, looking at his clasped hands, Caleb blew out a deep-breath, "Honestly, I'm not sure."

The honesty of which his son had spoken surprised Mac a little, he expected his son to say he was fine and that it would take some dancing around the subject for Caleb to finally open up. "Jim told me what happened at the hospital." Mac's quiet voice was full of concern, but he was shocked to see the tear-filled eyes that met his when Caleb turned toward him.

"He didn't tell you everything." Caleb wasn't sure how to tell his father what happened prior to his collapse, he honestly had little memory from the time his father had flat-lined to the time he stepped from the Chapel with Dean, only vaguely remembering Jim coming toward them in the hall before his world went black. But with the revelation from Dean about finding his gun, the story confirmed by Jim, who had only returned the weapon to him once they reached the farm, Caleb knew he needed to tell his father, but he also needed to tell him what happened during those times he was unconscious.

"Caleb?" Mac placed his hand on his son's arm, watching and feeling the emotions rolling from his son.

"Did he tell you about the vision?" Caleb noticed his father pale slightly.

Nodding Mac answered, "I'm so sorry you had to see what happened to me, I've prayed I would never be in the position that you would have to witness that."

Looking back toward the water, Caleb continued, "I wanted to kill John for letting that happen to you. Did he tell you I'm the one that gave him that shiner?"

"He made me promise to not mention that he told me. Son, John didn't do it on purpose, it was a wrong place, wrong time type situation." Mac answered.

Caleb stood, anger toward his mentor flaring again, "You got shot and nearly died because he was being a selfish bastard, thinking the only way to deal with his pain was to get wasted."

"Caleb…" Mac watched his son's anger, he knew it would take time before the boy would fully trust John again, but he needed Caleb to let go of the anger. "It's the only way he knows to deal with it, but honestly I think what happened opened his eyes that it isn't the smartest or safest way to handle it."

The younger man felt himself deflate, it wasn't his father's fault and Mac shouldn't have to bare witness to his anger toward John. "I'm sorry, I just can't get the image of you in the ICU out of my head, I can still hear that heart monitor when you…" Sitting hard, Caleb brought his hands to cover his face, the images again assaulting his mind. "God Dad I felt the connection break…" looking up at his father, tears finally sliding free, Caleb reached for his father's arm, needing proof the man before him was real. "I felt your connection break, all I knew was that you were gone, that I had lost another person I loved; I couldn't deal with that, not again."

Covering his son's hand, Mac allowed his own tears to fall, seeing the pain reflected in his son's eyes. Jim had told Mac how Caleb fled the ICU before the doctors could restart his heart. Wanting to offer support but also needing to understand the pain his son was in Mac asked a difficult question, "Didn't you feel the connection return once they got it my heart going again?" The older man knew there was a unique connection that he and his son shared, though he didn't understand it.

Shaking his head, Caleb answered, "It's not the easy, I needed to reestablish the connection, it doesn't come back on its own. Even once Deuce found me and told me you were still alive, I didn't believe him because I could only feel the hole where your connection had been taken away. He pleaded with me to try and find you; I barely remember making the connection before I collapsed."

Taking another deep-breath Caleb knew it was now or never in telling him what Dean had found. "Dad, something happened in that Chapel where Deuce found me. I honestly have no memory of that time, but he told me something, later Jim backed up what Deuce said…" Looking into his father's eyes, Caleb saw fear and worry, but under that he saw the love that his father's visions/dreams had helped him see, the unconditional love that would be there no matter what he revealed. "When Deuce got me to my feet, he…he found my gun lying beside where I had been sitting."

"Oh God," Mac whispered as he reached his hand up, putting it behind his son's neck, pulling the boy to him, feeling his son latch onto the back of the shirt he was wearing. It was a secret fear of Mac's; it was the blind-panicked attempt to take his life when he was twelve that had landed Caleb in the Psychiatric Hospital where Mac and Jim had found the boy. Then there was the first anniversary of his parent's death after Caleb had come to live with Mac that had the boys fragile emotional state allowed the thought to fleetingly cross his mind again as the boy had stood on the edge of a bridge, looking at the rushing water below. It was after that incident that Mac and Caleb talked and the thirteen-year old was reassured that he could come to his father about anything and Mac would help him through it, that there were to be no more secrets. It was the 'no more secrets' that Mac knew was prompting his son to tell his father of this incident.

"I'm sorry Mac…" A muffled sob escape Caleb as he leaned into his father. "I'm so damn sorry."

Mack held his son closer, ignoring the pain that radiated out from his still healing wound. Fear gripped his heart at the thought that if Dean hadn't found his son in time that Mac could have woken up in the ICU only to discover that his son was lost to him. "Thank God I sent Dean to you." Mac whispered into his son's dark hair.

_A/N: One more to go! Thanks again!_


	23. Chapter 23

Vision  
Chapter 23  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

_A/N: Okay, this is it, the final chapter. Again I've got to SHOUT-OUT and THANK LamiaJade for the kick-start that got me going on this story again. This story became a labor of love as I got into it again and finished the final chapters. We all feel pain at loss, we all feel our world collapse under the weight, but what we all need to remember is that as long as there are those who love us and loved those who are gone, then that person lives on in the love they leave behind. As a parent you never realize how much you can love another human being until you hold your own child in your arms. You pray that you can protect them from anything and everything out there that could cause them pain, but you also realize it is impossible to do, you just hope you can equipe them with the ability to love and be loved._

_I want to Thank everyone who kept this story favorited and alerted, those who continued to read through the months it took me to finish and to those who reviewed. That motivation kept me moving and has led us to the end of this journey. I hope this ending is what you hoped for and expected, I wanted only the best for you guys! THANK YOU AGAIN!-Montez_

Hearing the muffled words from his father, Caleb pulled back and looked at the older man, "What?"

Clearing his throat as he kept a hand on his son's arm, somehow needing that connection more than ever, Mac answered, "I can't explain how, but I remember seeing Dean, here at the pond and telling him that he needed to find you."

Rubbing a hand over his tear-covered face, Caleb shook his head slightly, "Deuce said that you told him to find me that you came to him in a dream." The young hunter recalled the rapid, emotion-filled words that his best friend had revealed at the hospital.

"I guess I knew he would be the only one who could find you and get through to you if I wasn't there." Mac's whole existence over the last seven years had been trying to protect his son and apparently a part of him knew he needed to contact the twelve-year old in order to continue to protect his son.

"Dad, something else happened that I can't explain. When I was unconscious I kept having these visions or dreams with you in them, they were things from the past…" Caleb watched as something crossed his father's face, though the younger man was at a loss to describe the look.

"The first time was my accident wasn't it?" Mac couldn't help but smile slightly at the shocked look on his son's face at the revelation that Mac knew what the boy was talking about.

Caleb, shaking off the shock, spoke, "I know we've seen some weird stuff in our time, but how did that happen?" Though the Psychic had come to understand the lesson his father was trying to show him through the visions/dreams, it had still been strange how they happened.

"I can only assume that it was my way of helping you understand something about me and you. I can remember you seeing me in the wreckage that had once been my car. That event changed who I was, how I viewed everything around me. At the time, I had wanted to die; I believed my life was over anyway. I had no idea what that terrible day would bring me, it was that day I was set on the path that led me to you." Mac wanted to make sure Caleb understood the message he could remember trying to get his son to see.

"I saw Cullen with you at the hospital; he would have been devastated if you hadn't made it. I remember you saying you guys hadn't talked in almost a year before your accident, but it didn't stop him from caring about you, from loving you." Caleb knew what his father's messages had meant, but talking with Mac know, helped make what happened in those dreams real.

Mac watched Caleb, seeing his son's understanding, "It was your grandfather that believed in me, even when I wanted to stop, he stayed with me through those months. When I did finally wake up and had to relearn nearly everything I had taken for granted, he was with me the whole way, even once my abilities started to show up, making me think I was going crazy. It was during those times, that I saw what I had refused to see in my father, it was the undying love a parent has for their child, that unwavering faith that I would comeback from my accident a stronger, better person and I did."

"Unconditional love." Caleb whispered.

"Yes." Mac answered as he watched Caleb again stand. The younger man reached down, picking up a rock, skipping it across the pond. "Caleb?"

"I was terrified when I found myself standing outside that damn hospital." Caleb didn't look at his father, his hands rolling another small rock over in them.

Mac stood, though his body protested some, he closed the distance between himself and his son, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder, "It was not my intention to bring up what I know you have spent years trying to forget, but it was the only way I could get you to see what you meant to me, what I felt from that first moment when I walked through that door to your room. It was an overwhelming need to protect you, I was actually terrified of that feeling at first, I had never felt a connection like that for another person in my life. I knew from that moment that I would protect you or die trying."

Caleb turned to face his father, "Even against Elkins?"

"Yes, even against Daniel, I never gave it a thought when I opened that basement door that I was getting ready to take on a man who was better trained than I was who could easily kill me if he wanted. He was the Knight, he trained John for a time and we know how well trained he is, but none of that mattered when I saw you on the floor and saw what he was trying to do. It was blind-rage that filled me, I believe I could have killed him, but it was the silence from you that stopped me. In that moment my world stopped, because in that moment you were no longer in it." Mac paused as he recalled all the feelings and fears he had felt those years ago, something inside telling him that if Caleb had died that night in that basement, then Mac, himself, would not have lasted much longer afterward.

"That's how I felt in that moment when your heart stopped, my world stopped, my existence stopped. I could only think about what I was losing, not what I was possibly leaving behind." The understanding that had come through the journey with his father is what had made Caleb realize that he had others that loved him as much as he knew his father did. That the love for his father and from his father is what he needed to hold on to, so he could continue to receive that gift of unconditional love from his best friend, from his little brother.

Mac saw that what he had wanted his son to see was finally being recognized by the young man before him. Taking another step closer, Mac reached up, his hands coming to rest on either side of his son's face. "I love you son, there will never be anything you can say or do that will change that. But as much as I try to protect you from it, someday I won't be here and I need you to know that even when I'm gone I will always love you and be proud of you. I need you to understand that there will be other's who will love you, no matter what; you just need to make sure that you don't shut them out. That you will remember me when you see them and know that on the day of my accident all those years ago, I was set on a path of salvation and that path led me to you. Though I have wished so many times that your life had turned out different, that your parents had never been stolen away from you, we were meant to meet, we were meant to be father and son, we were meant to save each other."

Caleb felt his eyes overflow again at the intensity he felt from his father, the cherished unconditional love he felt from his father. The last seven years of his life had been so different from the twelve that had come before it. The death of his parents had stolen any love Caleb had held for anyone, he worked so hard to keep people away, his rebellion; his fight against any authority figure had been a self-defense mechanism, to protect himself from caring for someone, from loving someone.

But when he had met Mac the wall Caleb had built around his heart cracked and over time began to crumble. Mac was the first person, since he was six years old, that Caleb had allowed to get close to him, that Caleb had allowed himself to love. Little did he know that a few short months after allowing Mac into his heart, that a small, blond-haired, green-eyed, unnaturally quiet five-year old would work past the hard-ass exterior, that the then thirteen-year old tried to hold on to, and work his way into the teen's heart as well. Becoming a surrogate for the sibling Caleb had lost along with his parents, becoming his best friend, his little brother, his Deuce.

Pulling his father into a hug, vowing to never again take for granted his father's place in his life, Caleb whispered, "I love you Dad, Thank you."

Jim Murphy had watched the father and son from the enclosed porch on the back of his farmhouse. Though to far away to hear the conversation, he knew it was a talk both men needed to have. The Pastor knew from experience how interconnected one person's life was to others. He had learned that with his Emma, in his own grief at her loss, Jim missed how his beloved wife's life intertwined with others. It wasn't until he had returned to the pulpit after his own, nearly tragic decent into despair that Jim saw his wife's love in the others that her life had touched. He knew he would grieve for her that he would dearly miss her, but as long as there were people she had cared about and that cared about her, then she was never truly gone.

The older man hoped that one day John Winchester would realize that Mary would never be gone as long as Dean and Sammy were around. Many times Jim heard John make the comment that one of the boys would do something that reminded him of his wife. The Pastor often prayed that the still grieving man would see through the grief; see that with his son's around Mary would never really be gone.

From the near tragic incident that had almost taken Mackland from them and possibly Caleb as well. Jim knew, even without hearing the conversation that Caleb had finally come to the understanding that as long as there were people around him that loved him and loved his father, that if anything every happened to Mackland, his father would still be around, would always love him, unconditionally.


End file.
